


Purifcation

by Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97



Series: The White Raven [1]
Category: Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Might add warnings in later chapters, Multi Chapter, Platonic Relationships, Sickfic, Team as Family, This will be sweet and sad and angsty and fluffy, i don't know how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25020100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97/pseuds/Not_So_Mundane_After_All_97
Summary: When Rachel slowly falls ill, it's up to Dick and the team to figure out a way to save her. But when things are getting worse instead of getting better and the Titans fall short on ways to help, will they be able to find a solution, before her mysterious condition gets better of her?
Relationships: Dick Grayson & Donna Troy, Dick Grayson & Koriand'r & Garfield Logan & Raven, Dick Grayson & Rachel Roth, Dick Grayson & Raven, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r
Series: The White Raven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2073660
Comments: 25
Kudos: 85





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WELCOME TO "PURIFICATION"!  
> I am so excited to finally post this, to start another story and take you on another journey. I love found family, that's no secret and I especially love this little family. I'm very proud of the outcome of what I'm writing right now, but also I'm very nervous (so please bare with me) because honestly? I think I have never come up with anything this specific. I'm scared I'll fail people's expectations because sometimes I feel like I fail short on words and I can't properly describe what I'm trying to say in the story. But I guess that's up to you, the readers to decide. So please, don't be scared to be honest with me in the comments, I want some constructive criticism (though nice comments are cool too), I want to be a better writer and I wanna learn. Okay, putting my anxiety aside, hope you enjoy the first chapter and see you soon with chapter 2!

"Don't worry," Her taunting, melodic voice carries through the dark alley, pushing through muffled sounds of music coming from the inside of the club as well as nearby police sirens. "I'll take it away in a second." 

Rachel steps closer to the man, twisting her hand in a claw-like movement, pushing him against the wall with black tar strings of her magic. He's shaking all over, trying to keep his wide eyed gaze anywhere but her red, glowing eyes. She smiles in satisfaction. He's scared, good. He should be. "That is, if you start talking."

She cocks her head to the side and grins like a cat, the gemstone on her forehead flashing bright red. But the guy only starts laughing, trying to mask his fear with fake intimidation. He sends her a disgusting smile, smell of alcohol and cigarettes from his mouth instantly hitting her nostrils and she cringes in disgust.

"Such matters shouldn't interest you, you nosy bitch-"

There's a fist coming to his face before he can even finish the sentence. The man only manages to spit out some blood before a gloved hand grabs his chin and roughly turns his head the other way.

"Didn't your mother teach you how to talk to a lady?" Dick growls right into his face, the anger in his eyes visible even through his mask. But it disappears the moment he turns his face towards her. "By the way, nice catch, Raven."

Rachel smirks at the name, feeling a tingling of pride rising in the pit of her stomach but shrugs as if it was nothing.

"Thanks, Nightwing." She winks, teasing him with his new name as well. She has to admit, it suits him. "Took you long enough."

Dick grins at her, then turns his attention back to the man.

"Sorry 'bout that. His friends weren't very cooperative. But don't worry, Tiger is keeping an eye on them."

The guy's face falls flat. He's had his own encounter with Gar before, considering the claw marks on the back of his jacket she had noticed earlier. Guess this is the one that got away last time. 

"So?" Dick starts, pushing the man a little harder against the wall. "Your friends already told us some things about your little plan. We know where the warehouse is - our friends are already there along with SFPD. But such goonies as them don't know as much as you, the brain of the operation. So here's the deal - you give us the list of your buyers and we promise to escort you to the station without problems."

The man's gaze flips between the two Titans before he starts laughing again.

"Why would I say anything to some freaks in stupid costumes, huh?"

Rachel locks eyes with Dick and he nods, giving her permission. She steps closer to the man and clenches her fist, her gem glowing bright in the dark. Her voice turns into that echoing, almost metallic sound when she speaks.

"You really want to test us?"

The black liquid slowly climbs up from the man's neck, covering up the side of his face and stopping dangerously close to his eye. A warning. His eyes grow wide in fear, nostrils flaring. His breath quickens, giving away the first sign of panic. 

"F-Fine!" he stutters. "Fine, I- I'll give you those damn names!"

He tilts his head down as much as he can with Dick's grip still on him and points with his eyes. 

"Right pocket of my jacket."

Without looking away from the guy's face Dick reaches to the pockets and pulls out something that looks like a small, brown leather-covered notebook. After making sure her hold is still tight Dick takes his hand away and starts flipping through pages. Rachel throws a glance over his shoulder, hoping for a better look, then snorts.

"A notebook?" she asks the man, quirking an eyebrow. "Not very wise. Could get lost or something."

The only answer she gets is an angry glare.

"Well, thank you for your cooperation." Dick says in a cheerful voice, closing the notebook. "Our friend will take you to a police car."

A loud thud accompanied by a splash of water suddenly comes from behind her and Rachel turns just in time to see Conner standing up from the ground. He must've jumped from the roof, where he'd been watching her back this whole time.

Dick gives her another nod and she releases the guy, who's immediately pushed towards Superboy. As the two walk out of the alley, they pass by Rose and Gar, and Rachel can't resist a chuckle when the man jumps out of the way upon seeing a giant green tiger. If Conner wasn't… well,  _ Conner _ , that idiot would probably push him right into a wall.

"The rest is locked up as well." Rose reports as the four of them meet in the middle. "All Gar had to do was purr at them."

Gar, looking very pleased with himself walks up to Rachel and nuzzles his head to her side, purring. She smiles at her friend, scratching him behind the ear.

"Good job." Dick says proudly, then lifts his hand to turn on his comm. "Kory? We got the names. How's it going at the warehouse?"

For a moment there's nothing other than a sound of static in their comms, but after a few seconds a voice comes through.

_ "Police had taken care of all the weapons. Hawk is finishing making scans of the biggest ones as we speak. We're almost done." _

"Good." he replies, a small amused smile dancing on his lips. Rachel and Rose glance at each other, smirking. "See you at home, then."

_ "Copy that." _

In the meantime Gar had turned back to his human form. His new suit has been working wonderfully so far, the new technology allows the material to morph around Gar instead of ripping to shreds every time he turns. Rachel smiles. At least he doesn't have to carry around a bag of clothes anymore.

"We're going home?" he asks cheerfully, coming to a stop next to her. "Great, 'cause I'm starving. Hey, Dick - you think we can grab something on the way?"

Nightwing chuckles under his breath, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sure, but I'm not going in there in full armor."

Rose comes over to him and pats his shoulder, grinning.

"Yeah, I remember what happened last time. Kory won't be happy if you make her wait for you because you couldn't get away from a bunch of screaming girls.  _ Again _ ."

The three teenagers burst out laughing while Dick rolls his eyes.

"Hey, it's not his fault this suit is so eye catching!" Rachel breathes out between chuckles. "Blame the designers."

"Are you done?" he cuts in, sighing. "Let's go home."

And with that he turns on his heel starts walking away.

Having not other option they follow him, still letting out occasional giggles when Rachel abruptly stops, pressing her palm to her head. A sudden, throbbing pain in her forehead, concentrated around the crystal, staggers her back. 

"Hey, you okay?" Gar asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. She hesitates for a moment before speaking.

"Yeah." she nods. "Just got a little dizzy. This idiot managed to get a hit on me before I had him."

She grabs Gar's arm, holding him back, then mutters in a hushed voice.

"Please, don't tell Dick. He'd only freak out again, you know him."

Gar chuckles and nods.

"Sure. His overprotectiveness, as much as appreciated, can also get really annoying."

"Besides, it's nothing." she smiles back at him. "It'll pass in a second."

Just like it did this morning. The same thing, few minutes and it was over, just like that. 

She must be tired. They just finished a two weeks long mission, they've worked their asses off on it. All she needs is a good night's sleep, that's all.

There's really nothing to worry about.

***

"Again!"

Dick's voice comes from the side of the training room and Rose instantly rushes at Rachel. But she sees it coming and quickly slips and parries the attack with her front hand. She remembers Dick's instructions to control the movement of both arms and redirect any cross attacks using the opponent's force against them. But Rose is too fast this time and smoothly twists out of her grasp, getting the upper hand. Using the same instructions she puts pressure on Rachel's neck, gets control of her arm and locks her elbow. Rachel grunts and freezes, feeling sweat dripping down the side of her face. Her hair slipped from her short ponytail and the blue strands are now sticking to her face.

"Okay. Rose, you can let go now." Dick says as he steps closer, handing them both a bottle of ice cold water. He flashes her a proud smile, making the feeling of disappointment because of the failure instantly melt away. "Good job, ladies."

He then turns to the rest of the group with his back straight and head held high, like a great teacher he is.

"This technique will help you control the situation and stop any additional attacks. Okay, Rose - you won this round so pick your next opponent."

As she drags Hank to the centre of the room with a shit eating grin on her face, Rachel steps to the side and carefully so no one can notice, prods at the side of her head with her fingers, gently massaging the scalp. The pain didn't pass like she expected, even during the night. It wasn't that bad in the morning, but now it's rising again, radiating to her entire skull, but its center seems to be within the crystal. Feeling dull, however, means that she can't be sure.

Someone gently grabs her forearm and Rachel flinches, but lets herself relax the moment she sees it's just Kory, looking at her with concerned but sympathetic eyes.

"Hey, don't worry." she says softly, mistaking Rachel's frown for disappointment after losing the round. "You'll get it soon, it just takes time."

Rachel, not wanting to give anything away, smiles back at her.

"Yeah, I know." she nods. "But thanks."

She walks away, taking another sip of her water and drops on the mat. The pulsing feeling has diminished slightly but her head seems strangely light, like a balloon filled with helium. Hoping to distract herself from this uncomfortable sensation she tries to focus on Dick's voice as he explains another self defence technique. But his words are muffled, like they're coming from underwater. Only when Rachel shakes her head, everything comes back to normal.

It doesn't slip Dick's attention though and his eyes stop on her momentarily, filled with a hint of worry. As always, his unstoppable protective instinct is telling him that something might be wrong. She tries to lead him away from his suspicions by smiling at him and finishing her water. Then Gar drops next to her with a groan and she sighs in relief when Dick turns his attention back to Rose. That's good. He shouldn't worry when there's nothing to worry about.

"I know I used to complain a lot back then." Gar starts, leaning back on his arms and stretching his legs. "But I really miss our first training sessions. It was nothing compared to what's happening now."

"Yeah, tell me about it." She nods, still observing the fight in the middle of the room. Hank just threw Rose over his shoulder like she weighed nothing and is now pinning her to the ground. It's not pretty, even when it's fake.

"Hey, is everything okay with you?" Gar suddenly asks, immediately alarming her.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're a little… pale." he points out slowly, visibly growing worried. "I mean, more than usual."

Rachel frowns at him, confused. Her head stopped hurting by now, she feels fine. So why is Gar looking at her like that?

"Maybe I didn't get enough sleep?" she lies, knowing very well she slept for full eight hours last night. "I'll be back in a second. Bathroom break."

And without giving him a chance to reply she jumps to her feet and flees the room, not even noticing Dick's concerned gaze following her every move.

She locks herself in and stares in the mirror. Gar's right. Despite intense physical activity she's sickly pale. White as a sheet. 

Dizziness hits her again unexpectedly. This time the sensation is so strong she has to brace herself on the sink and bow her head, closing her eyes. She starts taking slow, deep breaths and after around a minute it stops, leaving only a slight feeling of throbbing in the back of her skull and annoying ringing in her ears.

She splashes her face with cold water, then opens the cabinet behind the mirror. There's a small bottle of non-prescripted painkillers hidden in the far corner and without thinking she takes one pill, pushing it down her throat with tap water. She puts the bottle back in its place and closes the cabinet, sighing. No one will notice, right?

She looks back at herself in the mirror. The color seems to be coming back to her face, but the pain in her skull is far from gone. Rachel takes a deep breath and straighten herself, locking eyes with her reflection.

_ What is happening to me? _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick starts to notice that there might be something wrong with Rachel, but he has to put his worries aside when a new mission appears on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 2! I'm happy to say that I have officially finished writing this story, so now it's only a matter of posting. I'm thinking, every 2 or 3 days? And it's so tempting to drop it all at once, but I've figured this would be a little too much for you.   
> This chapter, especially the second part of it was hard to write because I suck at action plot. Outlining this mission, figuring out the details and sticking to these details in later chapters was a nightmare, but that's the beauty of writing I guess. And it's educational, so bonus.  
> I did a little bit of research for the sci-fi weapon I'll be referencing here. I wanted to come up with my own, but... Yeah, not happening. So I picked a random pic from Google and opened wikia page. You'll find the link below.  
> Anyway, enjoy this little fluffy piece and see you soon on chapter 3.  
> Also... I don't know if I should tag this as trigger or not, but better be safe than sorry, so - there's mention of fainting in this chapter. Let me know either here or on Tumblr if I should tag this or not.

The all too familiar scent of freshly brewed coffee and the sound of indistinct chatter all around him is impossibly relaxing and Dick smiles as he picks up their usual order. The place isn't that packed today so he has no problem finding the table Rachel had picked for them, in the far corner by the window. He quickly makes his way through the crowd and sets two cups addressed for  _ Dirk _ and  _ Rochelle _ in front of her. Her eyes lift up from her phone for a second and she smirks at the sight of bold, pretty handwriting. They've been here so many times together they don't even have to say their names anymore. And they've given up on correcting the staff long ago.

"You know, I think they know it's not  _ Dirk _ and  _ Rochelle _ by now." she says as he takes his seat in front of her. "They just don't bother anymore. And they must be tired of all the jokes."

"Yeah, they're not the only ones." He sighs tiredly, watching as Rachel tries to hide her grin by taking a sip. Her eyes close briefly in satisfaction and Dick smiles. She's so adorable when she does that, though she would probably try to kill him if he said that out loud. 

"You did great today, during training." he says instead. "You're getting better."

Rachel sets her cup aside and rolls her eyes.

"Stop being so nice. We both know I screwed up."

"You didn't screw up, Rach." he argues. "You can't be perfect at everything. Especially not right away. It takes time, you know?"

She lets out a chuckle, briefly looking out of the window. 

"Yeah, Kory said the same thing."

"So you should listen to her."

She shakes her head at his grin and rolls her eyes again, but her smile drops as soon as it appeared.

"I'll get the hang of it, I promise." she says after a moment, her tone serious. Dick stares into her determined eyes for a few seconds, then lays his hand across the table, wrapping his fingers around hers.

"I know you will, you don't have to promise me anything."

He tries to emphasize his words by squeezing her fingers reassuringly and she squeezes back, smiling.

"I know." she sighs. "But you're working so hard, you put so much into our training, especially mine. I… I don't want to let you down."

A feeling of warmth spreads all over him and his heart does a weird loopy thing inside his chest. After so long she still thinks she has to prove herself to him, even when that was never the case.

"Rachel, you could  _ never _ let me down." he tells her slowly, leaning in closer. Then adds with a smirk. "You're my  _ A-Student _ , after all."

He tries to bring the smile back to her face with a name he'd overheard a while ago, floating between her and Gar from time to time. He tends  _ not _ to play favorites, but the truth is, he just can't help it with Rachel.

It works. She snorts at him, but the spark in her eyes is back and her hand on the table doesn't leave his hold. He takes it as a victory and leans back in his chair with his coffee in hand.

A comfortable silence falls between them. They don't need much when they're together, simply being in each other's company is enough. It always has been, even in the beginning. 

He's watching her now as she turns her attention back to her phone and can't help but feel pride blossoming in his chest. She's been through so much, but she came back victorious in the end. She's happy now, surrounded by people who love her and care about her, and that's what he had wanted for her from day one. She'd come a long way from that scared little girl he'd met in Detroit over a year ago. She's stronger, wiser, more confident and powerful, even more so after all these months she'd spend on Themyscira. She's growing up right before his eyes, and even if that thought is a little scary, Dick knows he couldn't be prouder.

But pride quickly transforms into worry when he takes a better look at her. There's something… off about her. She tries to appear relaxed, be he can see how tense her shoulders are. She propped her elbow on the table and set her chin in her palm, but her fingers twitch towards her temple every few seconds, pushing gently against her scalp. Her eyes are focused on the screen, but he knows her too well to not notice when she's avoiding his gaze on purpose.

And the color of her skin. She had always been pale, but it looks almost transparent now, he can make up flashes of purple veins on her neck and cheeks. And the dark circles under her eyes, visible even through the light cover of make up.

He recalls her disappointed expression after her match with Rose this morning, how she dropped tiredly on the mat, then escaped to the bathroom shortly after. Maybe he does put too much pressure on her after all. He wants her to know how to fight and protect herself, because he can't always be there and she can't depend on her powers all the time. But maybe it's too much right now. Maybe he should tone down his protectiveness and let her relax. Some rest and she'll be good as new.

"Rachel, maybe-" he starts but the buzzing of his phone cuts him off. He reaches for it to his pocket and picks up immediately when he sees Donna's name pop up on the screen.

"Yeah?"

_ "We tracked down one of the buyers."  _ her voice comes from the other side of the line _. "He's still in the city and he's planning another transaction." _

"Okay, we're on our way." he says before hanging up, then locks eyes with Rachel, who's looking at him expectantly, waiting on the news.

"We have a lead?"

"It looks like it." he confirms. "C'mon, let's go."

She quickly throws her bag over her shoulder and jumps to her feet but her knees buckle under her and if it wasn't for his quick reflexes, she would've fallen. He's immediately back at her side with his arms around her, holding her up.

"Hey. Rach, what's wrong?" he asks, concern vibrating in his voice. But she's not looking at him - her eyes are squeezed shut and she's holding onto the edge of the table so tight her knuckles turned white. Her shoulders tremble a little when she takes one deep breath, then another and another. Like she's in pain and is trying to push through it. 

Dick leans in closer and tucks a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Rachel?"

But she straightens herself up the next second and opens her eyes, releasing a deep sigh.

"I'm fine." she says, smiling a bit nervously. "Silly me. Stood up too quickly and got a little dizzy. Probably too much coffee."

She appears to be okay, but he's not exactly buying it.

"Are you sure?" he asks again, keeping a hand on her back just in case, but she waves him off. 

"Yeah, I'm sure. C'mon, you said we need to hurry!" she says and without looking back she runs out of the café, leaving him speechless and confused.

_ What the hell just happened? _

One moment she's fine, the next she looks like she's about to pass out. But everything disappears in a matter of seconds and she's okay again. 

And he didn't say  _ a word _ about needing to hurry.

Something is up. But for now they have more pressing matters at hand so he's gonna have to leave it for later. After what happened last time with her powers she made him a promise that she'll come to him right away if something is wrong. Maybe she hasn't figure it out yet? Or maybe it isn't that bad? But then again, she wouldn't look the way she does if it was nothing. And she almost  _ fainted _ a minute ago.

Sighing deeply, Dick grabs his unfinished coffee and makes his way to the door. As worried as he is, he has to give her a benefit of the doubt. She'll come to him when she's ready.

He can only hope it won't be too late.

*******

"Brian Campbell. The CEO of CamCorp."

Donna's fingers quickly hit the computer keyboard as she reads aloud, causing new information windows to pop up one after the other on the screen. The whole team comes closer and stands in a circle around her chair, wanting to take a better look. The man's face catches Dick's eye the most, so he looks at the photo carefully, wanting to remember as many details as possible. White, blue eyed man, in his late 40s. Short dark blond hair with a tint of gray on the sides. Long thick scar on his left eyebrow.

Donna keeps reading, pointing other things from the list.

"Graduated early from MIT, got PhD in Business and Bachelor in Computer Science and Engineering. Comes from a rich family, got the company after his father. Famous philanthropist, known for his charity work."

"So the guy's crystal clear." Hank sums up, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm guessing this is a front?"

"Yep." the brunette confirms, switching between windows. Black and white pictures appear all over the screen, as well as some security cam footage. The man in question is seen in most of them shaking hands and negotiating with a group of suspiciously looking men, some of them being the ones the team had caught yesterday.

"Apparently Campbell has always been interested in the military." Donna continues. "Made some extra money on the side by modifying and repurposing tech and weapons. Rumors are he's been dipping his fingers in alien tech recently and his latest purchase seems to verify that."

She switches to a video, showing Campbell with the guy who gave Dick the list of names. The two appear to be in a warehouse, and Campbell is holding a large, leather covered black briefcase. Dick figures it must be one of the weapons.

"Might be one of the top buyers on dark web, but he's using many aliases and is very hard to track down."

"Okay…" Dick nods, leaning over the console to take a better look at the footage. "What did he buy and how do we get it?"

Donna changes the windows again. A schematics for a large rifle show up on screen, along with details.

" [ The Plasma Rifle ](https://xenonauts.fandom.com/wiki/Plasma_Rifle) . It's a versatile two-handed weapon that can deal with most battlefield situations. It issues relatively average damage per shot and is accurate even at range, and has both single-fire and burst-fire modes. But, after the modifications he had most definitely made…"

"It becomes on hell of a gun." Gar finishes for her, amused.

"Then what's the plan?" Rachel asks from behind him as Dick is still studying the blueprints of the weapon. "Because you do have one, right?"

He turns around just in time to see Dawn spreading the front page of today's newspaper on the desk.

"Campbell is hosting a benefit auction at InterContinental Hotel tomorrow night. Lots of his rich friends are gonna be there, lots of potential buyers. A perfect cover I would say."

Dick walks up to her and leans over Rachel's shoulder to read the article.

"Wait, it says 'invites only'."

The blonde sends him a mischievous smirk.

"It's easier to get them than you think."

Rachel's head jolts up in surprise.

"You have them? Already?"

Dick chuckles under his breath at her excitement, rubbing a hand across the girl's back.

"So I guess we're going to a party tomorrow."

"Uh, sorry. But we might have to pass on that." Rose cuts in suddenly, making everyone turn her way. She's standing with Conner in the entrance of the tech room, leaning on the door frame.

"Me and Jericho are supposed to visit our moms this week, remember?" She explains to him. "We're leaving in the morning. And Conner has his training with Superman in the Fortress."

"We hope it's not… a problem, or something." Superboy adds slowly, giving them a shy smile.

Dick smiles back at them sympathetically and walks up to Rose, laying his hand on her shoulder.

"No, of course not. Go, we can handle this. And say hi to Adeline from me."

Rose squeezes his hand and nods.

"Thank you." she says, letting Jericho sign it at the same time. "We should get packing, by the way."

"Have fun!" he wishes them and when they leave, he turns to the other members of the team.

"The rest? Get ready for tomorrow. We got work to do."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel's mysterious condition continues to progress, but with the party just around the corner, she's willing to push through it for another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 3! Yeah, I'm an impatient little shit, I know. This one was so fun to write, I had a headcanon for this in my head for a while now and it was a good decision to include it here, it fits so well. Our Titans ladies are gonna be dressed up for the occasion in this chapter so in [THIS POST](https://not-so-mundane-after-all-97.tumblr.com/post/622911493546098688/rachel) you can find the outfits I cooked up for them from Pinterest (I'm not much of a fashionista but I tried, to help our imagination a little) and in [THIS POST](https://not-so-mundane-after-all-97.tumblr.com/post/622181362073583616/a-little-tease-for-the-next-titans-fanfic-im) a concept art I made for Rachel's look in this chapter.  
> Hope you enjoy and see you soon with chapter 4!

The clock strikes 9 a.m. when Rachel turns around in her bed for God knows whichever time. She's been awake since five, praying and hoping her head would stop pounding. Her body feels impossibly heavy, like she's being weighed down by tons of liquid concrete running through her veins. It's hard to move, it's hard to think. All she can focus on is a constant banging in her skull.

She has to get out of bed. She should be in the kitchen by now, breakfast must be already on the table. And it's mission day. It won't be long before someone notices her absence.

With a groan, pushing through loud protests of her every muscle, she pulls herself up. One look at herself in the mirror makes her cringe and look away. She looks just like she feels - horrible. Bags under her eyes only became bigger and her sunken cheeks bring a term  _ walking corpse _ to mind. The team can't see her like this.

She knows she should tell them - there's this annoying voice in the back of her head constantly reminding her about her promise to Dick. She swore she would come to him immediately if something feels even slightly off. But it's been days. And she had more than one slip up already. She can't hide it any longer.

But she can't do it today. Not when the mission is at stake. This whole day will be filled with planning, organizing, briefing. Everyone will be extremely busy.

Her eyes land on a set of clothes she had prepared for herself last night. One more day, she's gonna push through this. A quick shower will help. She's been very careful with painkillers and they seem to work, so one more should be fine. As to her face, Kory had taught her a few makeup tricks, so she'll try to cover up what she can. And she will tell Dick everything tomorrow.

Shower indeed helps, so much that she decides to skip the pill till after breakfast and only if absolutely necessary. The heaviness disappeared from her bones, her head had gone quiet as well. The only problem left is her zombie-like face.

She's finishing applying makeup when she hears a knock on her bedroom door, and just like she expected, Dick is the one who walks in.

"Rise and shine, sleepyhead!" he greets her with a smile and she can't resist a chuckle at his cheerful tone. "Someone slept in."

"Well, the Amazons say beauty sleep is important." she throws over her shoulder, putting her makeup kit back on the shelf. "Especially before a mission."

This time he's the one who snorts. 

"Yeah, I've heard that one before. Speaking of mission…"

He walks in further and Rachel just now notices a giant pastel blue box he's carrying.

"What's that?" she asks, a confused smile playing on her lips. He sets it down gently on her bed.

"A gift."

She furrows her eyebrows, eyeing the mysterious box carefully.

"But my birthday was a month ago. And you  _ showered _ me with gifts, remember?"

Yeah, like these freaking diamond earrings she's wearing right now.

"Oh, but that's something for tonight." he cracks her a playful grin. "A suit, sort of."

Okay, now her confusion grows even bigger.

"I already have a suit…"

"That one's special." he cuts in and there's something in his voice and expression that makes her wonder where's the catch. "Don't worry, I had help with picking it out. Hope the size is right. I'll let you check it out. See you at breakfast!" And with that he leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

Rachel stands motionless in the middle of the room for the next few seconds, processing what just occured. He seemed genuinely excited about this. 

Taking a breath she walks up to her bed and carefully lifts up the lid of the box, almost like she's expecting to find a bomb inside. But what's in there is literally the last thing she thought she'd see.

Her eyes grow wide in bewilderment as she slowly picks up the soft fabric, letting it flow between her fingers like water. She can't resist a smile from spreading across her face when she mutters under her breath.

"You gotta be fucking kidding me."

*******

Dark blue material of the dress pours over her body down to the floor, reminiscent of a waterfall. The skirt is wide, folding simply at the bottom, but its size does not impede walking. The wide ribbons of sleeves rest lightly on her forearms, just below her shoulders. The whole dress is held on her body by two transparent straps, cleverly hidden in her loose hair, all pulled together with a zipper on her back. A perfectly fitted pair of velvet slippers on a medium heel, in a matching blue color, are now covering her feet. They're simple, low and comfortable. 

A choker is buttoned up around her neck, ordinary but much more elegant than the ones she usually wears. A wide velvet belt with an antique gem. Sapphire.

Rachel can't tear her eyes off of her own reflection as Kory puts last finishing touches to her hair, dancing around her in a sparkling purple gown of her own, with a curling iron in hand. Her face is still bare, since makeup is the last thing on their list. But even without it, the result in incredible.

"And… done." Kory mutters, letting the last curl fall down over Rachel's right cheek, still warm to the touch. Then she grabs her by her shoulders gently and turns her over to face her.

"And now go sit by the window, we're gonna need a good light." she instructs her. "With a face like yours it won't take long."

Rachel does as she's been told and drags her swiveling chair towards the window. Moving in a gown like this turns out surprisingly easy, but it's still something she needs to get used to. It's the first time in her life she has a dress like that on. Or heels, for that matter.

She has to stop herself from swallowing hard when Kory frowns at her after taking one look at her face.

"Rachel, are you feeling okay? Your face-"

"I'm fine." she cuts in, smiling. "Probably just nervous, you know."

Kory smiles back sympathetically and starts applying foundation.

"Don't be. I know the outfit is a lot, but it's just for show. You can get used to it."

Rachel chuckles lightly, careful not to move too much.

"Easy for you to say. You're a princess, you were born for something like this."

"Doesn't mean I liked it." She mutters, her eyes clouding for a moment with something Rachel can't quite read. "Close your eyes now."

She lets Kory work in silence for the next few minutes, sitting perfectly still as she applies shadows, eyeliner and little bit of mascara. And she can't help but wonder what was it like for the young princess growing up. How often did she have to do this? Make herself presentable so she could put on a show in front of people, smiling and waving around, holding meaningless conversations. Did she have someone to help her out? Prepare her dress, do her hair, put on her makeup.

Rachel never longed to be a princess. She hated when her mother put her in those hideous church dresses, ultimately giving up on them when she turned ten. As far as she's aware, nothing has changed since then in that matter.

But when Kory pulls her towards the mirror again, Rachel can't help but gawk at her own reflection.

Kory moves to stand behind her and puts her manicured hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. Their eyes meet in the mirror when she whispers with a fond smile.

"You look absolutely gorgeous, my dear." 

"Thank you." she tells her, feeling her cheeks instantly blushing. "Wouldn't happen without you."

"Oh, please." The woman waves her off. "You're stunning even without all of it, believe me."

She runs her fingers softly across Rachel's face, then presses their cheeks together.

"Our boys are gonna die when they see you."

She can't help but roll her eyes.

"Not with an alien queen next to me."

"I'll be far behind you." she assures her. "They won't even notice me."

Her face lights up suddenly, like she just remembered something.

"Ah, I almost forgot."

She moves to her makeup bag and pulls out a small, golden bottle. A perfume.

"The final touch." she says with a smile and walks back to Rachel, already spraying the liquid around.

The scent is pretty, a mix of roses and lavender, but also very intense and soon both of them start coughing.

"Don't you think it's a little too much?" Rachel manages to choke out after a moment. Kory pouts her dark red lips and nods in agreement.

"Yeah, maybe a little bit."

They look at each other for a second before falling into a fit of giggles.

"Okay, I'm gonna take this back to my room and grab my purse." Kory says after they pull themselves together, already grabbing her stuff. "Make sure you have everything and I'll see you in the living room."

When she leaves, Rachel turns back to the mirror, smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles down her skirt. Then she takes a better look at her face. Kory did a phenomenal job. Her eyes seem bigger, sparkling like diamonds in her ears. It's not much, just a little bit of creamy eyeshadow, some glitter and a thin line of eyeliner. Her lips are painted red, matching the color of her gemstone. Every little detail works together perfectly.

Rachel had never looked, or felt this pretty.

She feels the pressure in her chest suddenly and another coughing fit catches her by surprise. Guess there's still too much perfume in the air. But this time it's more violent, almost choking, and she has to bend down and press her hand to her chest while covering her mouth with the other. It feels like she's going to spit her lungs out.

Thankfully it all passes after few seconds. She straightens her back and takes a deep breath, relieved that it's over. But a cold shiver runs down her spine and her face drains of all the color when she looks down and notices a crimson red stain covering her hand.

_ Oh no. _

Great. Now she's coughing out blood.

Rachel looks quickly around her room, feeling panic rising in the pit of her stomach. Thankfully there's a pack of tissues laying on her desk and she grabs it immediately, taking one to wipe out her hand and throwing the rest into her small purse.

_ Damn it, couldn't it hold on until tomorrow?  _

She carefully opens her door and peeks outside, but there's no one on the hallway, so she walks out quickly and makes her way to the bathroom. Thankfully it's empty as well, so she opens the cabinet and grabs the bottle of painkillers. She swallows one quickly and hides the rest in her purse. Pills, phone, tissues. She doesn't need anything else.

One last look in the mirror.

_ You can do this. You will do this. _

Taking one last breath she lifts her head up and turns around, heading to the living room.

Show must go on.

*******

She can hear a distant sound of chatter from the hallway but the living room goes completely silent when she walks in. All heads turn her way and Rachel almost cowers under their gazes. She's not the only one dressed in a gown - Kory is walking around in her sparkling purples hugging her body like a second skin. Donna is dressed in all black, a smooth silk with a deep cut in the skirt showing off her long legs, all accented by red high heels and jewelry. Dawn stands to the side, calm as a sea before the storm in her pastel blue flowy dress and plain white heels, with her hair falling in smooth waves to one side. All of them look absolutely incredible, but somehow Rachel is the one who steals the spotlight.

Kory stops fixing Gar's bowtie and turns around, smiling proudly at her.

"See?" she squeals excitedly and looks around at everyone. "Told you it's gonna be worth the wait!"

Rachel moves her eyes from Kory to Dick who stares at her absolutely stunned. Suddenly she remembers that he's the one who got her all of this, and if it wasn't for makeup, her face would be more red than Kory's hair right now. 

She looks away for a brief moment, not quite able to meet his eyes while her hand goes up, taking her hair out of her face. She doesn't even notice that by doing that, she's showing him those diamond earrings he gave her, making him smile even wider. She feels sort of embarrassed, even though she knows very well there's nothing to be ashamed of. But he had never seen her like this. No one had.

Despite the uncomfortable twisting in her stomach, her feet carry her forward and she doesn't stop until she meets him halfway across the room.

"Rachel…" he breathes out. "You look... absolutely…"

"Ridiculous?" she suggests, hanging her head low and letting her hair fall back down on her face.

He lifts his hand, tucking the blue curl back behind her ear in one smooth, soft motion. Then his fingers find her chin and lift it up gently, so she can look back up at him.

"Beautiful."

A warm smile spreads across his face, creating small dimples in his cheeks.

His eyes gleam with something she had never seen before when he studies her face. There's some sort of wonder in them, an awe, almost like a spell has been cast upon him. And… why does it look like he's tearing up?

"What, too much?" she cracks a joke, trying to get rid of the nerves.

Dick blinks rapidly, then chuckles, letting his hand fall on her shoulder.

"No, it's-" he clears his throat, suddenly unable to speak. "It's perfect."

His words, a soothing but confident tone of his voice, it does something to her. Somehow the nerves, the embarrassment, the shaking in her hands, all of it is gone in an instant, replaced by a familiar warmth, somewhere deep in her chest. She finally lets her shoulders relax and smiles, giving him a once-over.

"You don't look too bad yourself, mister."

He looks absolutely dashing in a plain black suit that must've cost a small fortune and a white button down shirt, with a bow tie around his neck and hair slid back. And suddenly Rachel is reminded of that part of his life that is easily being overlooked on daily basis. She's not looking at a police detective she'd met in Detroit, or even at a superhero, a leader of their team. In front of her stands Dick Grayson, adopted son of a billionaire Bruce Wayne, an heir of Wayne Enterprises, the poster boy of Gotham. 

A man who probably spend half of his life at events like this.

"Nervous?" he asks, immediately picking up at her sudden change of mood. The only thing she can do is nod, sighing in defeat.

"Yeah. Any advice?"

"Act like you own the place." he laughs, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her towards the rest of the group. "These things can get pretty hectic at times, but don't worry, I will guide you through it. You'll be stuck to my side the whole night."

A sense of relief overcomes her, but she still rolls her eyes at his obvious overprotectiveness.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"And stick to the plan." he adds, handing her a small device. A comm she can easily hide in her ear. She quickly puts it in place, it fits perfectly.

"Remember, we need to blend in, not bring unwanted attention." he speaks to everyone this time, turning back into a leader. "We're looking for a black briefcase, that will most definitely be close to Campbell, though not in plain sight. My best guess is his office. It's his night, he's gonna be all over the place, so we need to wait for a moment he disappears, that's how he's gonna lead us to it. Scatter around, gather as much info as you can. Eyes and ears everywhere. It's an auction, there's gonna be a lot of things presented, but that particular transaction happens behind the scenes. And, in this crowd, anyone could be our mysterious buyer. When we all get to our positions, all eyes on Campbell. If we lose him, Rachel will track him with her powers. We act as quiet and clean as possible. Get the briefcase and get out. If we're lucky, we'll be long gone before they notice. If not - he can't risk ringing the alarm without screwing up his reputation. All clear?"

Everyone nod in confirmation, their faces serious and somber. This is it, there's no going back. Surprisingly enough, Rachel feels excitement rising in her stomach.

"Alright." Dick smiles, satisfied. "Titans, let's go. Limo is waiting."

Gar's jaw almost hits the floor.

"Wait, you got us a freaking limo?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say how much I am happy that people are actually interested in this story?? This is my precious baby, maybe I'm bragging but I've never been prouder of my own work. Special shout out to my BIGGEST SUPPORTER [@SiryyGray](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiryyGray/pseuds/SiryyGray) \- this story wouldn't happen without you. Just so you know, after the final chapter is out, you're getting an Oscar worthy thank you speech from me at the end. And thank you [@reddish_umbrella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddish_umbrella/pseuds/reddish_umbrella) for being so invested and supportive. It means a lot. MUAH.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission goes as planned… until not so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 4! Things start getting messy in this one, so prepare... I'm so excited, yay!  
> I don't know what else to tell you without spoiling anything so... Enjoy and see you soon with chapter 5!  
> A little warning to this chapter - there's some blood.  
> BYE!

The party itself is everything Rachel expected it to be. Glamorous, fancy and extremely, infuriatingly boring.

They all walk in together, but quickly scatter around, disappearing in the crowd. Hank and Dawn head upstairs, where they'll have an excellent view from the balcony, while Kory follows Gar to the buffet. 

"I'll go check out the exhibit." Donna mutters to Dick, quiet enough for only him and Rachel to hear. A mischievous half smile appears on her lips. "Have you worked on your small talk, Boy Wonder?"

Dick gives her a pointed glare, but the right corner of his lips lifts up a little.

"Don't you worry about that." he whispers back. "I have it handled."

Donna chuckles.

"Of course you do."

She checks her phone and sighs, then winks towards Rachel.

"It's showtime."

This whole time Rachel couldn't help but watch this entire exchange with an amused smile dancing on her lips. Dick of course notices that the moment Donna walks away.

"What?"

"What was that about?" she asks, genuinely curious.

"Ah, this." he laughs under his breath. "Donna thinks I'm not good at small talk. She deems me to be too confrontational."

"Well…"

"I'm not." he argues.

Rachel sends him a small smirk, rising her eyebrow.

"You sure? Not even a  _ little bit _ ?"

"Oh, please. Not you too." he scoffs, shaking his head. Then he offers her his elbow and a comforting smile.

"Shall we?"

Rachel lets out a tired sigh but gratefully hooks her arm around his.

"Do I even have a choice?"

*******

Dick Grayson doesn't need a cover story or a badge to blend in with this crowd - everyone knows the son of Bruce Wayne, even if it's been quite a while since his last public appearance. Rachel is glued to his side through countless boring conversations, but thankfully she doesn't have to speak much. She's introduced as a Winner of Wayne Scholarship, top of her class at Gotham Academy, proudly representing her school. Dick even has a false certificate to pull out of his suit and brag about. She doesn't bother to ask how he got it.

"Exactly how many times have you done this before?" she mumbles to his ear after they get rid of some investor, a long time business partner of mr Campbell. 

"Too many to count." he sighs tiredly, sinking into a couch they found in one of the rooms. "Ever since I turned fourteen, Bruce dragged me along to all kinds of galas, charities and benefits. Wanted me to socialize, but maybe he was just showing me off."

Rachel sends him a wicked smile.

"That's why bragging about me to all these buffoons comes so easy to you? You learned that from him?"

"I don't really need a reason to brag about you, Rach." he winks at her and pulls her closer, so she can rest her head on his shoulder.

She hadn't realized before how tired she is. They've been here roughly for two hours, but it feels like eternity. She can hear Dick's muffled voice, talking to the rest of the team through the comms, but mostly she's dozing off.

"Can we go home already?" she mutters slowly. She knows she's whining, but she couldn't care less at the moment.

"Soon." Dick replies, brushing her hand comfortingly. "Donna has eyes on Campbell. Looks like something is happening. We need to be ready. It could all be over in a minute."

The band starts playing a soft tune, sounds of piano and violin instantly waking her up. She didn't even notice before that somehow they ended up in a glorious, majestically looking ballroom. She recognizes the song, even if it feels a little strange at first played by an orchestra.  [ 'Fix You' by Coldplay. ](https://youtu.be/517KTB_XxhI)

_ Oh, it sounds beautiful _ , she thinks, closing her eyes.

"May I have this dance?"

Dick is standing now in front of her, extending his hand towards her. She quirks her eyebrows at him.

"Really?"

"Campbell might be coming this way, we need to blend in." he says matter-of-factly but a playful grin appears on his lips. "Besides, it will wake you up."

She shakes her head but takes his hand nonetheless, letting him drag her across the dancefloor. With her palm in his and his other hand on her back they twirl around under the soft glow of crystal chandeliers and Rachel can't help but feel like she's in some kind of a fairytale.

"I feel like a freaking princess." she breathes out as she glances around the golden room, more to herself than to anyone else.

"You definitely look like one." Dick tells her, smiling proudly.

"Don't get used to it. As much as I am grateful for all of this." she points her eyes down at her outfit. "I'd rather stick to jeans and t-shirts."

His smile grows even bigger and he spins her around again, before pulling her back into his arms.

"Noted."

_ Oh, too much spinning _ , she thinks when her head starts getting dizzy and hazy again. She staggers back a little, almost tripping over her dress, but Dick's hold on her keeps her from falling.

"You okay?" he asks, concern filing his voice.

"Yeah, just got a little dizzy."

He frowns at her, now visibly worried.

"I've noticed you get dizzy quite often these days."

_ Of course you have. _

She quickly puts two and two together.

"That's why you decided to be my personal bodyguard tonight?" she asks. "To keep an eye on me?"

"Partially, yeah." he confirms. "What's going on, Rach?"

Well, there's no turning back now.

"I… I don't know exactly. I've been having these headaches for the past few days. At first it was nothing, but they keep getting worse. I slept in this morning because I could barely get out of bed."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

She links her arms around his neck and looks down, suddenly feeling ashamed. But his hands start stroking her back comfortingly, silently encouraging her to keep talking.

"At first I thought I had it handled. I started taking painkillers, those pills from the bathroom you said it's okay to take if we need one. But I think they're not helping anymore."

She lets out a tired sigh and looks up into his eyes.

"I was going to tell you, but I wanted to wait until the mission is over first. I felt fine for the rest of the day, so I thought it can wait a little longer. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I'm glad you're telling me now." he says. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Well, right before we left-"

She doesn't finish because in this moment a cracking noise from their comms interrupts her.

" _ Campbell has the briefcase. _ " Dawn's voice pushes through the static. " _ We lost him in the crowd but it looks like he's heading towards the back of the building _ ."

Rachel nods, already knowing what to do.

"I'm on it."

Dick's eyes narrow.

"Are you sure you can…?"

She waves him off, closing her eyes.

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

Just like every guest at this goddamn party, they've had a brief exchange with the host shortly after they've arrived. Rachel tuned out for the most of it, letting Dick do the talking, only focusing on reading Campbell's mind signature when she shook his hand. She tried to find the the weapon in his memories, but she couldn't prod for long without raising suspicions. And she was too nervous to do it properly.

Now, as she tries to locate his mind in the crowd, she regrets not trying harder. Maybe this could all have been over by now.

She squeezes her eyes shut, trying to push through the spikes of pain that returned to her brain.

"He's in the east wing." she pants, suddenly out of breath. "Heading towards the back door."

" _ On it _ ." she hears Hank's reply in her ear.

The headache grows stronger, the pounding in her temple is so loud it almost blocks every other sound. Only Dick's voice comes to her loud and clear.

"Rach, you okay?"

She only nods in response, focusing on her task. She's trying to see through Campbell's eyes, a trick she'd picked up on Themyscira. 

"He has three bodyguards with him." she hisses through gritted teeth, feeling her knees already shaking from the effort. "All armed."

Dick's hand runs up her spine, massaging the back of her neck.

"Okay, Rachel, that's enough." he says sternly, his voice sounding alarmed. "I think you should sit d-  _ oh God _ ."

She can feel something warm dripping down on her lips before he's even finished speaking. She lifts her hand to her face and wipes under her nose, leaving dark traces of red blood over her fingers.

"Holy shit." she mutters out, staring back at Dick with eyes full of fear.

That's when the coughing starts.

The first splash of blood falls on the skirt of her dress, painting it red. This time the attack is so strong it really feels like her lungs will be out next. Dick pushes his handkerchief into her hand so she can cover her mouth and quickly escorts her out of the room, before anyone can notice anything. They reach the nearest bathroom and Rachel slumps over the tiled wall down to the floor, with Dick right next to her on his knees. Her head is spinning, her vision is getting blurry and all she can smell is blood.

"Hey. Hey, Rachel. Look at me." he whispers frantically, holding her face in his hands. But she can barely hear him.

"Dick…"

"Shh, don't talk."

He tilts her head forward with his shaking hands and pinches her nostrils together just below the bony center part of her nose, trying to stop the bleeding. But it only causes her to cough more, and soon the top of her dress, his hands, his suit and even the floor are splashed with scarlet gleaming in the light. She can't breathe, her chest is on fire, her head is about to explode.

"Abort the mission!" Dick orders through the comms. "We have an emergency!"

" _ What the fuck do you mean abort the mission? _ " Comes Hank frustrated reply. " _ We almost got the briefcase. _ "

"Forget the briefcase!" Dick shouts back, panic rising in his voice. "Something's wrong with Rachel."

" _ What's going on? _ " Kory's voice comes in next. " _ Where are you? _ "

"Uh, west wing." he breathes out, wiping the sweat from his brow, leaving smears of blood instead. Rachel would laugh if she wasn't so weak. "Bathroom by the ballroom."

" _ What's wrong with her? _ "

"I- I don't know." he stutters. "She tried to track down Campbell when her nose started bleeding, then she started coughing blood. She's barely breathing, I don't know how long I can keep her awake. We need to take her back to the Tower.  _ Now _ ."

" _ Okay, stay where you are. _ " Donna orders. " _ Don't let her fall asleep. We're on our way. _ "

Rachel sees him nodding, although she's the only one who can right now.

"Just hurry."

Her head rolls over to her left shoulder.

"It hurts…" she mutters weakly.

Dick's hands are immediately back on her cheeks.

"What hurts?"

"My head… And- and chest."

"Okay, save your breath. You need to stay awake."

She would if it wasn't so fucking hard.

"I don't… I don't know if I… c-can."

His fingers run across her face, tucking her now messed up curls out of the way, wet and glued together by sweat and blood.

"You can, and you will." he urges, his voice breaking from fear. "You're strong. Just a little longer okay?"

But her head is too heavy. It hurts too much, she just wants it to stop. 

The last thing she registers is clicking of heels and a flash of purple before she slips into oblivion.

*******

The twitching of her eyelids is the only external sign of pain consuming her from within. The inside of her body screams and all nerves burn. Her veins are filled with fire. Her lungs protest loudly against every breath she tries to take. 

Someone sticks a needle in her forearm, hooking her up to an IV, but a momentary prick is nothing compared to the agony that engulfs her. She tries to stay awake, fighting the heaviness of her eyelids, but the moment drugs enter her system, it's game over. Rachel slips again into the embrace of darkness, lulled to sleep by a familiar gentle touch of calloused fingers on her cheek and hum of soft voice telling her everything is gonna be alright.

The first think she registers after waking up is her dress - soaked in blood, torn and crumpled up in the corner like a rag, along with her shoes and jewelry. Instead she's dressed in a white hospital nightgown, laying on her right side in one of the beds of the Tower's infirmary. The IV stand is in her sight, which allows her to hang her gaze on drops lazily falling down a long, transparent tube, straight into her veins. The place on her arm where the needle is sticking out feels itchy, but her muscles are too heavy to do anything about it.

A a twitch of movement catches her eye and she slightly shifts her head. Dick is slumped in a chair beside her, clutching her other hand in between his own. He's tired, his face is twisted with fear and worry, lips are pressed into a thin line, his jaw clenched so tightly Rachel is afraid it might break. His eyes are rimmed red and cheeks are strangely wet, like he had spend the last few hours crying.

Has it already been hours? Or mere minutes? She can't tell. For her it was infinity.

He had lost his suit somewhere, along with the bowtie. The collar of shirt is ripped open and stained red -  _ from her blood _ \- but it looks like it already dried out. His hair is a mess as well, sticking out in every direction like he's been dragging his fingers through it far too many times. He doesn't seem to mind though.

He's still as a statue, staring aimlessly at nothing, but moves instantly when she squeezes his hand, letting him know she's awake.

"Hi, baby." he chokes out as he leans down to her, his eyes already filled with a fresh wave of tears. 

"Dick…"

He gives her a weak smile and kisses her knuckles.

"Shh, I'm right here."

"We all are." another voice comes from behind him and a moment later a familiar flash of purple comes into focus.

"Kory?"

The woman drags her fingers gently over her cheek in a soothing motion, forcing a smile.

"Right beside you, honey. Gar's here too, he's sleeping on the couch."

Rachel glances behind her, catching a glimpse of bright green hair on a pillow in the corner of the room.

"How are you feeling?" Dick asks slowly, lacing their fingers together. She has to think it over for a minute.

"Okay, I guess." she whispers. "Nothing hurts so far. I'm just tired."

The two adults look at each other and release a collective sigh of relief. 

"That's good." Dick breathes out, letting his shoulders drop and relax. "You got us scared for a moment."

"I'm sorry." she mumbles, looking away. "Guess it was worse than I thought, I should've told you sooner."

"Yes, you should have." He confirms, but without any accusation in his voice. He's too relieved to be mad at her. 

"How long was I out?"

"Almost five hours." Kory answers, checking a watch on her wrist. She had ditched her gown as well for a long purple t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and there's no trace of makeup on her face, save for few dark tracks left by her mascara. "It's just after 3 a.m."

"I'm sorry." Rachel whispers again as she turns her eyes back to Dick, feeling a lump rising in her throat. "I've ruined the mission." her gaze flickers to her outfit abandoned on the floor. "And the dress."

He lets out a wet chuckle and moves his hand, pressing his palm to her cheek. She instantly melts into his touch.

"Don't worry about it, you didn't ruin anything." He soothes her. "Hank got the briefcase."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Mission accomplished."

Rachel sighs in relief, sinking deeper into her pillow.

"Oh, thank goodness."

"You should get some more rest, sweetheart." Kory purrs into her ear, resting her hand on the crown of her head. "You're exhausted."

A sudden panic rises in her chest and she wants to argue, but Dick calms her down before she even has the chance to say anything.

"Don't worry, we are not leaving you." 

"Promise?"

He smiles and leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead.

"I promise." he whispers, caressing her cheek slowly. "Sleep, baby girl. We'll be here all night, I swear."

She tries to resist only a moment longer, but his gentle touch and warm breath on her cheek is the best, most effective way to put her to sleep. It had worked many times before. As she closes her eyes, she can feel Kory dropping a kiss to her hair, while Dick pulls her hand back to his lips again. They're here, watching over her like guardian angels. She's safe with them. So without a second thought she falls back into a slumber, peaceful this time, with a faint smile tugging at her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you excited??? I know I am... But now things are gonna get heavy, so prepare for a ride... Is that a good tease? God, I hope so!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick and Kory face the aftermath of last night and decide on their next steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 5! This one isn't very long, but it's still fun, I promise. I feel like there's a need for a weaker chapter before the real monster hits, you know? I really tried to focus on the emotional impact of what happened in the last chapter and find some sort of explanation to recent events. I hope I got that right.  
> And sorry in advance for all the medical gibberish - I'm no expert, but I hope it makes sense.  
> Enjoy and see you soon with chapter 6! We're halfway through, yay!

There's only one word to describe what happened last night - hell. An absolute fucking  _ hell _ . From the moment Rachel lost consciousness, everything seems to merge into a single, turbid, endless torture.

He doesn't even remember how they got back to the Tower - did they use the limo or did Hank parked their car in the alley behind the hotel, like they planned? He doesn't know. All that mattered was Rachel, pale as a sheet, choking on her own blood as he cradled her in his arms in the backseat, praying to get home in time.

He is useless in the infirmary in this state of mind - panicked, eyes wide in fear, hands shaking. He is too close to breaking down, falling apart at the seams. Donna and Dawn made the right decision to push him out of the room after he laid Rachel down on the bed. He would only be in the way.

But the moment the infirmary door close behind him, an iron fist of terror clenches around his heart, making it almost impossible to breathe.

He rushes to the bathroom, passing Kory and Gar in the hallway, but they don't dare to stop him. He shuts the door, rips off his suit and quickly untangles the bowtie. The feeling of suffocating lessens but only a little. Looking up at his reflection, he cringes. His face and chest are covered in blood -  _ her blood _ . He does what he can to scrub it off, but the stains seem to grow into his skin.

Feeling his bottom lip beginning to tremble he pushes his fist to his mouth, trying to hold back a sob. But it still shakes through his body, almost sending him down on his knees. And tears fall down anyway.

He wipes them away angrily.

He is  _ not _ going to fall apart. He can't.

***

He checks the time again. 4:33 a.m. She's been sleeping peacefully for over an hour now, after waking up briefly around three. She's laying on her back, with one hand along her body and the other on her stomach, with her fingers tightly tangled with his own. He doesn't dare to let go of her hand. Her breathing is steady, deep and calm, as if her lungs did not just want to get outside of her body few hours ago.

If it wasn't for her ashen, sickishly gray skin, he would say she's okay.

Behind him Kory is pacing around the room, muttering quietly to not wake up Gar.

"How did this even happen? Was she poisoned or something?"

Dick lets out another tired sigh, dragging his hand across his face. He's so goddamn tired.

"I doubt it. She was with me this whole time, I would've noticed." He thinks for a moment before speaking again. "You know, she told me she's been getting headaches for the last few days. Whatever this is, that's how it probably started."

Kory stops by the window, peeking through the closed curtains. He can catch a glimpse of first morning light over the city.

"Come to think of it, I did notice she grew a lot more pale recently." she says, coming over to stand behind him. Her hands start running up and down his shoulders, the touch comfortingly relaxing. "I tried to ask but she brushed it off as being nervous before the mission."

"And two days ago she'd nearly fainted when we were out for coffee." Dick adds, briefly looking up at her. "Said she stood up too quickly and got dizzy for a second, but I know what I saw. She was in pain."

"Then why didn't she come to us?"

"She was going to." he answers, moving his gaze to Rachel's sleeping form. "She wanted to wait till the mission is over."

His thumb starts drawing soothing circles over her small hand and his heart clenches again. She appears to be a lot younger sleeping like that. Smaller and far more fragile.

Sometimes it's easy to forget how young Rachel truly is.

Kory sits down in the chair beside him and takes his hand in hers. Her fingers are trembling and when he looks up into her eyes, he has to gulp down a sudden lump in his throat. She's terrified. He must look the same.

"Dick, what are we going to do?" she asks and he hates the way her voice is breaking. "We don't even know what's wrong with her."

"I'll call Bruce." he decides after a moment of silence. "The League has a team of trusted doctors, specialists in their field, with a lot of available resources. I'm sure they'll be able to help."

Kory turns towards Rachel, brushing her hand gently across her cheek.

"I hope so." she breathes out, letting a single tear slip down her cheek. Dick instantly reaches out to brush it away.

"Hey." he whispers, taking her face in his hands. "She's gonna be okay, you'll see."

A quiet sob escapes Kory's lips when she grabs his wrists gently, holding him in place.

"How can you be sure, after everything that happened last night?"

Despite the growing tightness in his chest Dick forces a smile.

"Because I know our girl. And she's not gonna go down without a fight."

Kory smiles back at him through her tears, then glances back at the sleeping child, letting her head fall on his shoulder.

"Yeah, our girl is a one tough cookie to break."

He wraps his arm around her and pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. Something warm grows inside his chest, causing a small smile on his lips.

_ Our girl _ .

Yes, Rachel is theirs. She became theirs when they swore to protect her with their own lives. She became theirs when she forged a link between the four of them, bonding them together for life. She's their responsibility. And they will do whatever it is in their power to help her. They have to.

*******

The team of doctors, led by dr. Lynn, an African-American woman in her late 50s who Dick had the pleasure to meet before (when she put him back together over and over again in his Robin days) assembled pretty quickly and they've arrived in San Francisco just before noon. Rachel was already awake at the time, still weak but feeling well enough to sit up in her bed and describe her symptoms by herself. He's been there the whole time, sitting by her side, wanting to hear the whole story.

It's truly frustrating, listening to her quiet, trembling voice talking about everything she endured in the last few days, while the doctors just sit there, scribbling in their notebooks, looking at her like she's some sort of a lab rat.

They're working mostly in silence, only throwing at each other commands and medical terms Dick can't quite understand. They hooked her up to every medical machine the Tower is equipped with, brought their own stuff as well. They took her blood for testing, keep checking her pupil dilation and responsiveness every half an hour and pumped her veins with doses of medication that, in his mind, could put down a horse.

All of that without saying a single fucking word, neither to him, or Rachel, or anyone else in the Tower.

"So, doctor? What's the diagnosis?" he finally gets the chance to ask when he catches dr. Lynn in the hallway. The woman smiles at him sympathetically, for the first time since coming here, then looks down into her notes.

"Honestly, Dick - I don't know what to tell you." she sighs, fixing her glasses on her nose. "The nosebleed had been caused by a broken blood vessel, there must've been too much pressure on it when she started using her powers. We still haven't figured out what caused that bloody coughing fit since there was no foreign body in her respiratory system or a parasitic infection and we also counted out Pneumonia. Her blood test came out clean so she hasn't been poisoned."

Dick can't help but sigh heavily, dragging his hand over his face in frustration.

"So you  _ don't know _ what's wrong with her?"

"Not exactly." dr Lynn admits, having the decency to look apologetic. "We don't know what had caused this but we see a progress in her recovery. She's mostly dehydrated and exhausted due to stress and blood loss, but with the meds we gave her and lots of rest she should be back on her feet very soon. I also recommend for her to maybe not use her powers for a while, since they're also draining her energy. She said she's been using them a lot recently, both during missions and training, and that could've been the cause of her headaches."

Well, maybe that's not exactly what he wanted to hear, but it is good news, right?

"But you'll still be monitoring her, I assume?"

"Yes, we will." dr Lynn confirms. "I'll be coming back every morning for the rest of the week, for a routine checkup. In case something happens in the meantime, if the headaches come back or she starts bleeding again, call us immediately."

"Of course." Dick nods, walking her towards the elevator. "Thank you."

The woman shakes his hand and smiles.

"No problem. See you tomorrow."

After she leaves, Dick comes back to the infirmary, only to find Rachel sitting cross legged on the bed next to Gar, both eating ice cream, while Kory is standing behind her, brushing the girl's hair.

"Don't move, I'm almost done!" she calls out while the two teenagers burst out laughing.

The sight makes him smile,  _ really smile _ , for the first time in God knows how long.

"I see someone's feeling better!"

The three of them turn to him at once, grinning.

"She's trying to steal my ice cream!" Gar whines, hugging his bowl to his chest. "Which means she's perfectly fine!"

Dick shakes his head, laughing, then walks up to them and sits down at the edge of the bed.

"So, what did the doctor say?" Rachel asks and suddenly the room goes quiet. Everyone's anxious to know the answer.

"Well…" he starts, taking a deep breath. "According to dr. Lynn it all looked and felt scarier than it really was."

He tries to explain everything he heard in the easiest way he can, hoping he got it all right.

"And the headaches?" Kory asks, laying a comforting hand on Rachel's shoulder.

"Exhaustion, probably. I guess we need to tone down on your training, Rach."

"That's fine." she shrugs and swallows down another spoonful of frozen yogurt. "But can I at least come back to my room already? I'd rather sleep in my own bed tonight."

Dick smiles and drops a quick kiss on her hair after getting up.

"I think we can make that happen."

Just like dr. Lynn predicted, Rachel is feeling better day by day. Two days after the incident her headaches and dizziness are completely gone and she's strong enough to walk around the Tower. The color came back to her cheeks and everything seems to be working out just fine.

Then, on the third night, he's woken up by horrifying screams of pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun, how about a cliffhanger? You'll find out what happens soon enough...


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After racing against time the diagnosis is given, raising the tension within the team, along with the stakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Screw posting schedule, right? WELCOME TO CHAPTER 6! The biggest one. I tried to hold back, I really did... I was going to post it tomorrow, but... Nope. The wait is too agonizing. And I am weak.  
> It's going to become very emotional from now on and I'm sorry. I really am.  
> But also there's something exciting - a hint of the mystery unravels...  
> Minor warning - a vague description of a slight panic attack.  
> Enjoy and see you soon with chapter 7!

Her bare feet wade through the shallow water as if of their own accord. The chill is piercing, but it doesn't bother her. She goes ahead, and although she does not understand why, she knows that she must go. 

Impenetrable darkness envelops her, but she's able to see her reflection in the water surface anyway.

A pair of glowing, bloody-red eyes. 

A sound comes from a distance. A flutter of wings and something like croaking. 

She starts running. She doesn't know why again, but she runs. She runs until her legs are burning. But she can't stop. 

She bounces off the ground. 

Floats.

Flies. 

And sees a white light in the distance. An outline of majestic wings. A line of a long, curved beak. Black, burning eyes. 

It moves towards her. She wants to step back, stop, turn around but she can't. And when they collide in the middle Rachel feels nothing but fire.

*******

"Rachel!" 

Dick forces her bedroom door open with one strong kick. The view he finds behind it freezes him to the floor for a moment. The girl is throwing herself all over the bed, howling in agony. Pillows are scattered sideways and the quilt is rolled up at the edge of the bed, tangled around her feet, as if Rachel was trying to kick it off. There is a sting of sweat in the air, and indeed, when Dick comes closer, he notices that she's soaking wet. Tangled locks of hair stick to her forehead and her shirt is soaked so much that it could be wrung out like a cloth. 

But that's not the worst part. 

A net of bizarre, black veins spreads over her pale, paper thin skin. The branches intertwine around her shoulders and neck, descending dangerously low to the chest. Some of them stick out from under the edge of her shirt, embracing her stomach and back.

"What's happening?" Gar's panicked voice reaches him from the hallway. But Dick doesn't have time to explain. He runs into the room and throws himself on the bed, trying to hold Rachel in place. But as soon as he takes her in his arms, the girl begins to scream terribly, as if his touch burns her. Her skin is ice cold and violent shivers run all over her body. Swallowing back fear, Dick picks her up in his arms and runs out of the room, heading straight for the infirmary. The rest of the team stands in the hallway, watching the whole event with fear, not knowing what to do. Kory moves towards him first, leaving Gar in Donna's care. 

"Dick-" 

"Call Dr. Lynn!" he throws quickly over his shoulder without even looking back. "Fast!" 

His order stimulates everyone to act and a moment later Rachel is put on a hospital bed, while Dawn connects her to an IV. This is not the easiest task, because the girl is twisting and turning like a fish pulled out of the water. Dick must hold her hand down forcibly, which just pulls out another painful scream from her throat. 

"I'm sorry." he chokes out, leaning over her. "I'm sorry, honey." 

His voice wakes her up a little. The seizures temporarily stop and Rachel opens her eyes slightly. 

"Dick..." she wheezes, her voice barely audible. 

"I'm here." 

"It hurts..." 

"I know." he whispers, brushing her hair from her forehead with his shaking hand. "The doctors are on their way. It will be over soon."

As if on command the infirmary door opens with a bang and a team of doctors rushes inside. "Everyone out." Dr. Lynn calls in a voice that cannot be opposed. "Now!" 

Rachel's trembling fingers curl tightly around his wrist and when he looks down he sees her wide eyes filled with panic. 

"No..." 

"Shh, it's alright." Dick whispers to her, cupping her face in his hands. "I'll be right outside the door, okay?" 

He can't say anything else because the doctors are pushing him aside and a moment later, along with the others, Dick is thrown out of the room. 

It feels like there's not enough air to breathe. His heart is pounding as if it was about to break away from his chest. He leans on the wall, panting heavily and slides down, falling to the floor. He throws his team a tired look. Everyone is scared, confused and nervous. Kory keeps Gar on the side, away from everyone else, whispering something in his ear. The boy looks like he is about to cry, and honestly, Dick can't blame him, feeling like he's about to fall apart himself any minute now.

A gentle hand caresses his knee and he turns his head, looking right in Donna's concerned face.

"Are you holding up?" she asks gently. Dick can only nod, too exhausted to use words. 

"I thought it was over." she adds after a while, frowning with worry. "She got better." 

Dick sighs deeply, wiping his face with his hand.

"Apparently not." 

"What do we do now?" Kory asks a question that weighs on everyone's hearts. 

The only thing they  _ can _ do, no matter how much Dick hates it. 

"We wait."

*******

Rachel keeps screaming in pain for another few hours and every time her cries echo through thin walls of the Tower, Dick has to force himself to not jump to his feet and rip the door open. Each sound coming from the infirmary is like a jagged claw, tearing his chest apart. He's crumpled up on the floor beside the door, with his head hidden between his knees and his eyes closed. Donna is curled up beside him with her arm wrapped around his trembling shoulders, her forehead pressed to his. Her presence is as always comforting and he's glad she's here to ground him.

As another yelp of pain, followed by doctors' tense voices sends shivers down his spine, Dick tries to distract himself and slowly lifts his head up. Kory is sitting under the opposite wall with Gar curled up in her arms. The boy's head rests on her thigh while she absentmindedly runs her fingers through his short, green hair. Their eyes meet for a moment when she looks back at him but her gaze almost immediately falls back to the boy, her forehead furrowing with worry.

Gar is not sleeping, he's just laying there motionless, letting Kory's touch calm him. He doesn't even flinch at Rachel's screams anymore and Dick feels a hint of envy because of that. He would give anything to make it stop, shut it down, cut himself out.

But he can't. Not when his little girl is out there, behind that door, suffering.

Hank and Dawn are nowhere to be seen, but if he focuses hard enough, Dick can hear a faint sound of clatter coming from the kitchen.

He doesn't even know what time it is. The concept of time lost its all meaning to him, to be honest. The sun must be already coming up, but does that even matter? No one will get here any sleep anyway, especially not him.

It's not until Donna shifts against him that he realizes it had gotten quiet. He can't hear dr. Lynn or any other of the two doctors, he doesn't hear Rachel either. 

For a moment everything goes completely still as cold fear grips his heart.

What happened? Is she…?

The infirmary door open slowly, instantly causing everyone to jump to their feet. Dr. Lynn walks out, hunched over and exhausted, but her expression is stoic. It doesn't tell him anything.

"How is she?" he asks, because he cannot take it anymore.

The woman sighs deeply, letting her shoulders drop.

"Stable, for now." she says, to which everyone release a collective breath of relief. "We had to put her in a drug induced coma, to reduce the pain. She should start waking up in around 12 to 14 hours."

"Okay, but what's wrong with her?" Donna prods, and when dr. Lynn looks him dead in the eye, Dick can already feel his insides twist.

"We don't know."

He can only stare at her, blinking rapidly.

"What the hell do you mean  _ you don't know? _ "

She takes a deep breath, raising her chin up.

"Working with the League, my team have encountered lots of cases that normal medicine would deem… unexplainable. But this… this is beyond even us. Her pain level went over 11 and yet she had still remained conscious. I've never seen such a high heart rate in someone so young. It's a miracle it didn't kill her. And yet, all we were able to do was stop the pain and knock her out with meds, because whatever we did, whatever we gave her, nothing seemed to be working. From a medical point of view, there's nothing to treat. Brain scans are crystal clear. Despite the net of veins covering half of her body, her blood shows no signs of infection. All came out clean. Every possible test was negative. She should be perfectly fine and yet it looks like her body is… shutting down."

Dick can feel his muscles tensing from frustration and anger. Clenching his fists, he takes a deep breath to calm himself down, but he can't keep the snarl from his voice.

"Her body is shutting down and you're telling me you can't do anything?!"

"Dick." Kory's soft whisper brings him down from the edge of rage as she lays a hand on his shoulder.

"Is there really nothing?" she asks calmly. "No alien tech or medicine the League has access to?"

"I'm sorry." the woman shakes her head, her expression growing softer. "We've already given her what we could. And we can't keep doing that for long without risking an overdose. Unless it's something tied to her powers, although I can't be sure… Our hands are tied. We'll keep monitoring her, but… I'd consider preparing for the worst case scenario."

_ Worst case scenario. _

Meaning… 

The floor seems to sway under his feet. He has to prop himself on the wall to not lose his balance. His breath quickens, heart is beating so fast it might break his ribs.

"Can we… can we see her?" Gar asks quietly, his trembling voice piercing the heavy silence on the hallway. Dr. Lynn glances at him briefly, then smiles.

"Of course." Then she moves forward, gently pressing her palm to Dick's shoulder. "Let her rest. I'll be in touch."

All he can do is nod, not even lifting his gaze at her.

Kory takes his arm gently, leading him towards the door. His legs feel like they're made of concrete.

"C'mon." she whispers, biting back tears. "Let's go inside."

*******

She looks so fragile he is scared to even touch her at first, fearing even the slightest brush of his fingers might turn her to ash. Countless wires and tubes surround her, coming from every possible direction. The quiet beeping of machines is the only sound filling the room, aside of the thunder of his own heartbeat coming from his chest. He stops in the door, unable to move. He can't breathe. He can't think.

How did it ever come to this?

He's watching as Kory stumbles towards the bed, with Gar following close behind, while the two other doctors quietly slip out of the room. The boy takes a seat at the edge of the bed and reaches for Rachel's hand, only slightly hesitant at first. Meanwhile Kory leans down to plant a kiss to the girl's forehead as a muffled sob escapes her lips.

"Dick, c'mon." Donna urges him, pressing a flat hand to his back. "You need to move."

"I can't." he gasps, shaking his head.

"Yes, you can." she insists, then gives him a gentle push. Finally, slowly he takes one step, and another towards the bed.

Pushing through a lump rising in his throat he reaches out, stroking her cheek.

"Hey, baby girl." he whispers, feeling his heart breaking in his chest. Rachel always smiles when he calls her that. "We're all here, okay? Right here with you."

He doesn't know what else to say, his words fail him. He can only stare at her bleach white face, sunken cheeks, tight shut eyelids. What he would do to see her smile right now, to hear her laugh. To have her taunt him and tease him, shooting him that playful grin of hers.

Leaning down, he brings his lips to her forehead and closes his eyes. He wants to cry. To curl himself into a ball around her and let himself fall apart if that would put her back together. 

_ I just want to hold her _ , he thinks, pressing his forehead against hers while forcing back a sob.  _ God, please, just let me hold her. _

"Dick, we need to talk about this."

Kory's voice, no matter how soft and gentle, still feels like a bucket of ice cold water dumped on his head. He doesn't  _ want _ to talk about this, he doesn't want to  _ face this reality _ .

"You heard dr. Lynn." he answers, looking back at her. "She's gonna wake up in 12 hours."

"Yeah, but what then?" Gar cuts in. "Are we just supposed sit and wait, doing nothing?"

"No, of course not." Dick shakes his head. "We'll keep searching. Maybe they've missed something, maybe-"

"So far they haven't found  _ anything _ and she is  _ not _ getting any better!" Kory snaps in frustration. "As much as it scares me to admit it, we need to start preparing for-"

"No." his voice snaps gravely in the room, like a shotgun. "Lynn said it might be tied to her powers. There's a chance-"

"For what? A miracle solution?" she interrupts him, walking around the bed to stand beside him. " _ The Death of Worlds _ is gone, blown up along with my ship. And there was nothing in my research about a mysterious illness that would eventually drown her of life. We have no other sources that would provide any information about her powers. Face it, Dick - we're out of options."

"What do you want me to do, huh?!" he shouts suddenly, pushing her hands away when she reaches out to him. "Give up?"

"No one asks you to give up." Donna comes forward, speaking in a hushed, calming tone. "But we need to be ready for the worst."

He throws her an angry glare, feeling rage bubbling in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly the air feels suffocating. He needs to get out, clear his head. Otherwise he might explode.

"I am  _ done _ talking about this." he hisses through gritted teeth, already marching towards the exit. "Let me know if anything changes."

And without giving them a chance to respond, he slams the door shut behind him.

*******

Physical training has always been a good distraction, a perfect way to calm him down, he'd learned that a long time ago. He tried several different exercises before setting on a punching bag, but still, whatever he does, nothing seems to be working. His thoughts are running with a speed of light, threatening to make his head explode. He can't escape memories that flood his vision.

Punch.

_ Rachel constantly reaching out to prod at her temple. _

Hit.

_ Getting dizzy at the café. _

Punch.

_ Blood dripping down her nose in cascades. _

Punch.

_ Her painful screams piercing his eardrums. _

Hit.

_ "Her body is shutting down." _

Punch.

"Ah, FUCK!" Dick curses loudly when a sharp pain pierces through his entire right arm. He tries to shake the feeling off, then looks at his fists to find them bruised and bloody, skin on his knuckles red and torn. Guess he's been hitting the bag a little  _ too _ hard.

"Want some ice for that?" he hears behind him and whips around just in time to catch an ice pack Donna throws at him. She's standing few feet away from him, by the entrance to the room, with her arms crossed over her chest and eyes clouded with worry.

"How did you-?"

She smirks.

"A hunch. I figured you might want to blow off steam after…  _ whatever _ had just happened. And we both know your coping mechanisms aren't the healthiest, so I came prepared."

Dick rolls his eyes but throws a half hearted  _ thanks _ her way as he picks up a piece of cloth and wraps it around his bruised hand, with the ice pack in place. 

Meanwhile Donna steps further into the room, her smile disappearing, replaced by concern.

"Wanna talk about it?"

The question makes him want to punch something again. He's not the one they should be worried about. But he doesn't want her to see it in his face, so he quickly turns away from her to grab a water bottle standing on a nearby bench.

"What's there to talk about?" he asks before downing the bottle in one go. He sees as her shoulders drop and she sighs heavily, already knowing this is not going to go as smoothly as she'd want and a part of him is feeling guilty because of it. But he's  _ really _ not in the mood for a pep talk right now.

Donna takes another step towards him.

"Listen, I know this must be hard for you-"

"No." he interrupts her, laughing bitterly and it makes her stop. He turns and throws the bottle away angrily, causing Donna to flinch at the sound it makes. "You don't know shit. None of you do."

"Then talk to me." she pleads, coming closer, her hand already reaching out to him. "Help me understand and tell me how you feel."

"Rachel is  _ dying _ , Donna!" he snaps at her, louder than he intended. "How the  _ fuck _ do you think I feel?"

Donna freezes in place with her hand in the air. Fuck, he shouldn't have snapped at her like that, she's only trying to help, like she always does. He takes a breath, intending to apologize, but what comes out instead is a sob that wrecks his entire body. Suddenly the room is spinning, he feels like he can't breathe. His mind is stuck in a loop, repeating the same words over and over again.

_ Rachel is dying. She's dying. Dying, dyingdyingdyingdy- _

"Hey. Hey, Dick. Come on, look at me." Donna whispers as she takes his face in her hands, brushing away a stray tear that fell down his cheek. He doesn't know when that happened, but they are sitting on the floor now, Donna is pressing his head to the crook of her neck, running her fingers through his hair in a soothing motion.

"Come on, little brother. Just breathe."

Dick listens and closes his eyes, trying to compose himself. He takes one deep breath, then another, and slowly calms himself down.

"Better?" Donna asks quietly and he nods. "Are you ready to talk now?"

"Yeah…" he breathes out and lifts his head from her shoulder, looking down at his hands. "Sorry about that."

"Don't apologize." she says softly. "Just tell me what's going on."

Dick thinks for a moment. How is he supposed to articulate this?

"It's just… I've never felt so helpless before, Donna." he finally admits. "So fucking useless. She's getting worse day by day and I literally can't do  _ anything _ to stop it."

Donna squeezes his hand comfortingly.

"We are doing everything we can. The League gave us their best, most trusted doctors. I've called Diana, she's on Themyscira right now, searching for every bit of information she can find. Clark and Conner haven't left the Fortress in days, buried in kryptonian files and Bruce-"

"I know. But none of them has anything we could use  _ right now _ , when she lays unconscious in a hospital bed, pale as a sheet, slowly fading away."

He bends down, hiding his head between his knees and Donna scoots closer again, wrapping her arm around him, her hand massaging his neck gently. 

"She's in so much pain." he whispers after a moment, but his voice is trembling and he can feel his throat closing. "If I could take it away, even if only for a while. If I could transfer it all on myself, so she wouldn't have to suffer anymore… Donna, I'm so fucking scared."

It's pointless to hide now, so he lets the fear overcome him as he lifts his head to look her in the eyes. He was never good at hiding his emotions from her, anyway.

"I know you are. We all are. She's part of the family-"

"You don't understand." he cuts in. He hesitates a little before speaking again, but after a moment decides to open up. "She's… Rachel is like a daughter to me. She means more to me than you could ever imagine. And she's my responsibility, I've made her a promise that I would keep her safe. So it's fucking  _ killing me _ to see her like this and not be able to help."

Donna gives him a sad smile and Dick feels some of the tension disappear. It's good to finally say it out loud, to let it out. 

"I always knew you would be a great father someday."

Despite the heavy weight on his heart Dick chuckles at her words.

"I didn't think I'd live long enough to become one, to be honest." then his smile falters again and his head falls down. "But what kind of a father am I if I can't protect my own child?"

Donna immediately lifts his chin back up, forcing him to look at her.

"No, don't do this to yourself." she says firmly. "Her condition is not your fault, got it? You're not a miracle worker, you won't heal her with a touch of your hand like she can do to others. But you  _ can _ help her. Take care of her, keep her company, make sure she's comfortable. Believe me, your presence makes all the difference."

"And what if it's not enough?" he asks, feeling the tears coming up again. "What if I lose her anyway?"

"Dick-"

"No, I'm serious! I know I didn't want to listen before, but I am well aware she might not make it. I'm not stupid. It's just… too terrifying to think about."

Donna cups his cheek in her hand. 

"Then don't, if it's too much for you. Focus on here and now, okay?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right." he nods. "Can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Take over as team leader. I'm going to focus my whole attention on Rachel and I need to be here all the time in case something happens. But you guys can still carry the mission, do the job. Are you okay with this?"

"Of course." she confirms. "You're most needed here, we can handle it."

Dick smiles at her softly.

"Thank you."

They sit in comfortable silence for several minutes before Donna speaks again.

"Tell me, how does it feel to be a parent?"

He lifts his eyes at her to find her grinning stupidly at him. She's obviously teasing him, trying to lift up his mood, but his answer is genuine.

"It's constantly asking yourself  _ how is it possible to love someone so much? _ "

Donna chuckles softly.

"Sorry, but can't really relate."

"You'll understand when you have kids of your own."

He gets a punch in the arm in return.

"Very funny, Boy Wonder. Very funny."

*******

When she wakes up, all she sees at first is darkness. Panic tugs at her chest at the thought of fire consuming her again. But then her eyes fall on the curtains that are only half closed, she can see a string of white moonlight crossing the room and she sighs, relieved. She's really awake.

But how long has it been?

Her senses are a little hazy, probably due to meds still being pumped into her veins through an IV, but she can make out a quiet beeping sound of medical equipment to her left. And a soft, warm breath on her neck to her right. 

Slowly she turns her head to find Dick laying next to her, fast asleep. It cannot be comfortable, she thinks, since hospital beds in the Tower's infirmary weren't designed for two people. But he doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all. He's wrapped tightly around her, holding her as close as he can, with one arm across her stomach and his face buried in the crook of her neck.

"Dick?" she whispers but her throat is dry and her voice comes out hoarse.

He stirs and lifts his head, blinking slowly, eyelids heavy with sleep. But then his eyes meet hers and he smiles.

"Hi, baby."

"Hi."

His smile drops the next second, replaced with worry and her heart aches at the change. This is the only thing she sees in his face these days - this constant, sickening worry. And she hates it. She hates that she is the reason behind it. She wants to get better so bad, if not for herself then so he wouldn't have to feel this way anymore. But the question is,  _ can _ she even get better?

He lifts his hand and brings it to her face, pressing his palm to her cheek and starts stroking it gently with his thumb.

"Everything alright? How are you feeling?"

Rachel furrows her brows, trying to focus.

"Um… okay, I think." she answers after a moment. "Sleepy and tired, but nothing hurts."

Dick closes his eyes briefly, releasing a breath of relief.

"Good." he whispers. "That's good. Do you need anything?"

"Water, please."

"Okay."

He pulls himself up with a groan, then helps her sit up slowly, supporting her back. He reaches for a glass of water with a straw standing on the table next to her bed and hands it to her. He helps her drink, 'cause her hands are a little shaky and grip unsteady, and when she's done he puts the glass away and helps her lay back down.

Slowly, the hazy memories come back to her. She's not sure how long she's been unconscious, but she can recall voices. They were here, with her. Dick and Kory. Gar, and she thinks she'd heard Donna as well.

She remembers bits and pieces of their conversation. Voices slightly rising in volume. The sound of slamming doors.

"Dick?" she asks when he's fixing her pillow, making sure she's comfortable. "Am I dying?"

His hands freeze and his entire body tenses, she can see it even in the dim light filling the room. His eyes land on her face and he swallows hard, probably trying to get rid of a lump that undeniably materialized in his throat.

"Just please, don't lie to me." she adds quickly.

He stares at her for few more seconds, then bows his head and sighs. It can't be easy for him, she knows it, but she needs to hear it. He sits down at the edge of the bed and takes her hand in his, locking his eyes with hers.

"The truth is," he breathes out. "We don't know yet. We're doing everything we can, trying to find anything or anyone that could help. But…"

"...but so far you haven't found anything and I am not getting any better." she finishes for him, echoing Kory's words she remembers from earlier. Dick furrows his brows in confusion but then it changes to understanding.

"You've heard us." he figures.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." he says, lifting her hand to his lips and kissing it softly. "I shouldn't have stormed off like that."

She squeezes his hand comfortingly.

"It's okay."

"No, it's not."

He shifts so he can lean down and press a tender kiss to her forehead.

"I promise you," he whispers against her skin. "That I will find a solution to this. I will not let you die."

"It might be easier said than done." she replies, pressing her forehead against his briefly and closing her eyes.

He pulls away and goes back to simply holding her hand. But Rachel's mind is elsewhere. What will happen if they don't find anything? Or what if they do, but it will be too late? What if there's no solution, no cure for this?

"I'm scared." Rachel chokes out, feeling tears coming up.

"I know, Rach. I'm scared, too."

His voice is trembling a little and he looks away for a moment. She can see him take one deep breath before he turns back to her and gives her a warm smile. Then he lifts his hand to her face again, cupping her cheek. "But we will get through this, okay? We will, I swear."

She can't stop the first tear that rolls down and drops on the pillow.

"My own magic is killing me." she sobs quietly. "I don't wanna die."

He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, then swipes his thumb under her eye, brushing tears away.

"Shh, you won't. I won't let that happen."

His touch is gentle and calming and she can feel tightness in her chest disappearing. His smile grows a little when her tears stop falling, but there's something in his eyes that makes her want to cry all over again. Rachel doesn't need to be an empath to know that his heart is breaking into a million pieces right now. But he's trying to stay strong, for her.

"Get some sleep, baby girl." he whispers to her after a while, tucking the covers under her chin. "Rest as much as you can, okay?"

"Don't leave me." she begs, quickly reaching for his hand again. "At least till I fall asleep."

"Shh, I'm not leaving, Rach." he assures her. "I'll be right here."

She nods and lets herself sink deeper into her pillow. Closing her eyes, she tries to focus on his touch, his thumb drawing soothing circles on her hand. She's almost asleep when she feels him slowly slipping his fingers out of her grasp. He leans down and quickly kisses her head again, then a moment later a soft click of the door reaches her ear. This week has been as exhausting for him as it was for her. She can only hope he will get at least few hours of sleep tonight.

But his footsteps don't fade away. Instead she hears a muffled thud, like something had hit a wall. There's a beat of silence, Rachel holds her breath, waiting. And suddenly a strangled sob carries through the walls, piercing the quiet night like a blade. Then another, and another, broken by painful whimpers, sniffles and shuddering, ragged breath. Dick is crying his heart out, howling like a wolf, falling apart just behind the door. 

There's nothing she can do, no matter how bad she wants to. So she turns her head the other way and shuts her eyes close, holding back her own tears. She's tired, so tired and even though every muffled sound coming from behind the door is like a glass shard to her heart, she tunes it out and tries to fall asleep. But before she does, a terrifying thought creeps its way into her mind.

_ What will happen to you when I'm gone? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Yeah. Hope you enjoyed, I really gave my all on these last chapters....


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick reaches a breakthrough and decides to take a different, a bit more risky approach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 7! I'm back on schedule, so chapter 8 will be up on Wednesday and chapter 9 on Friday. This one was really interesting to write and it will finally give you some (but not all) insight into what might be happening to Rachel. I'm not an expert when it comes to setting up clues, but I tried my best.  
> It's still angsty but not as much as the previous one... And definitely not like what's to come...  
> Enjoy and see you soon with chapter 8!

"Wait, Dick - you're not seriously thinking about this." Donna's words echo through the small space of the tech room, her voice filled with scepticism. She's sitting on the console table with her arms crossed over her chest, giving him that typical 'big sister' glare.

He'd called a team meeting right after checking on Rachel in the morning. She was still sleeping when he got there so he only checked the monitors readings. Her condition remained stable, which was a good thing, but it hasn't progressed either. At least the meds doctors gave her seemed to still be working because it didn't look like she was in any pain. Noting it's safe to leave her alone for a little longer, Dick gathered everyone in the tech room and started sharing his thoughts. 

"Actually, Donna, I am." he confirms, turning to her in his chair. "I've been thinking whole day and night about this. Dr. Lynn suggested that Rachel's condition might be linked to her powers. And later Rachel herself, when she woke up last night, told me something that got me thinking even more. She said  _ My own magic is killing me _ . I think we've been looking at this from a wrong perspective."

Kory comes over to stand behind him, sliding her hands on his shoulders.

"What do you mean?"

He looks up at her and finds concern and tiredness in her eyes. Guess he wasn't the only one who didn't get much sleep last night.

"We've been treating this as a biological problem. Something we can fix with medical treatment. But we can't. Because it's not a physical issue, even if the symptoms are." He looks each person in the room in their eyes, making sure they understand. "It's a magical issue."

He's been thinking a lot about this last night, after leaving the infirmary. Rachel's words, her trembling little voice and terrified eyes crushed something in him and it took him a while to get himself together. He's not sure how long he'd been sitting on the floor in the hallway, crying. It felt like a fucking dam broke and once he started, he couldn't stop. But when there was no tears left in him to cry anymore, his brain got to work. The breakdown turned out to be necessary, it had sharpened his mind, allowed him to think more clearly and he spend the last remaining hours of the night here in the tech room, thinking, planning, researching.

"So, what?" Gar asks as he props himself on the wall next to the entrance. "You're saying that if magic is causing this, only magic can fix it?"

Dick smiles at the boy excitedly, proud of his deduction.

"Exactly. And since none of us understands or is able to use this kind of magic… We need to find someone who can."

"Okay, but  _ John Constantine _ ?" Donna asks with a look of doubt in her eyes. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"And who is this guy anyway?" Kory cuts in, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm not sure you've ever mentioned him before."

Hank, who's been sitting silently with Dawn next to Donna this whole time, moves to the computer and starts tapping his fingers on the keyboard, making images and pieces of text appear on the main screen. Everyone come closer, trying to take a better look at the face of the man.

" [ John Constantine ](https://dc.fandom.com/wiki/John_Constantine_\(Prime_Earth\)) , an occult detective from Liverpool, England." Hank reads the note out loud. "A highly skilled sorcerer, having been practicing magic since he was a teen. Schooled in various forms of magic, most notably Black Magic, a dangerous and malevolent sort of magic that is known to come at a high cost to it's practitioner. Possesses extensive knowledge of magic and the supernatural." 

"Looks like just the right guy." Gar points out. "So why does he seem like  _ not _ a good idea?"

Donna sighs heavily, running her fingers through her hair.

"He doesn't really have a good reputation." She explains. "He's a con artist - a damn good one at that. Tends to be violent and unpredictable. The League doesn't trust him that much and it seems to be mutual. Plus there are rumors that John's body contains demon blood, which is what allows him to channel magic and cast spells without facing the cost of it."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Kory wonders. "Rachel is a daughter of a demon, sounds right in this guy's lane."

"That's what I was thinking." Dick says, swiveling in his chair. "Yes, I agree - it is risky. But he's our best shot at saving her. We don't have anything else."

The team seems to consider his words and slowly, one by one, they nod in agreement.

"Great, now we only have to find this guy." Hank grunts and takes the seconds chair, getting ready to work. "He's famous for being untraceable."

Dawn goes to stand next to him, then turns to Dick and asks.

"And what makes you think he will even want to help us?"

Dick gives her a mischievous grin in return and pulls out his Batphone from his pocket.

"Easy." he says, flipping the device between his fingers. "He owes Bruce a favor."

*******

Given the eccentricity of this guy, Dick is pleasantly surprised that John Constantine agreed to meet him in such a public place like this back alley pub, especially during the day. While contacting him, he assumed that the man would either not want to meet at all or would choose some hard-to-reach place. Therefore, now with relief, he slides into the box at the back of the local, passing his companion a bottle of beer through the table.

"I guess the Big Bat must be very desperate if he's asking for my help." John sighs with thick British accent. "And yet he's still bitter enough to only do it through his Golden Boy, not showing up himself. Typical."

Dick chuckles, taking a swing of his own beer. That does sound like Bruce.

"This time he has nothing to do with it. I've reached out to you on my own." he explains. "But you can consider your dept payed off."

He doesn't know what happened between John and Bruce and he knew better than to ask. But he knows well enough no one wants to owe Batman a favor.

"That is if I even agree to help." John corrects him. "What mess do I need to clean up this time?"

Dick's face turns serious. If this doesn't work, they're screwed.

"One of my teammates is sick-"

"Sorry, mate." Constantine cuts in. "I'm not a doctor."

He stands up, fixing his trench coat and Dick feels panic rising in his chest.

"Wait!" he stops him. "It's not something meds can fix, believe me - we've tried it. She has magic powers, they might be the reason she's sick. That's why I contacted you."

Something sparks in the man's eye, a hint of interest. He'd caught his attention.

Lightning up a cigarette he pulled out of his coat, John slides back into his seat.

"What kind of powers?"

"Her father was a demon."

"Which one?"

"Trigon."

John's normally schooled expression twists in surprise, his eyes going round as an amused smile appears on his lips.

"The Destroyer of Worlds…" he whispers excitedly. Dick leans back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm guessing you know about the prophecy, then."

John shrugs, taking a sip of his beer.

"Only rumors. A magic child that is supposed bring the apocalypse or stop it. Trigon is one sneaky bastard, but I always thought he blew this whole thing out of proportion. I've never met him thankfully, but his reputation goes deep. I've heard he was back for a moment a while ago, but just as quickly vanished." he squints his eyes at Dick. "I'm guessing his daughter had something to do with it?"

He nods slowly in confirmation.

"You could say that." He keeps his eyes on the man's face for a moment, trying to figure him out. Will that be enough to convince him? "Listen, it's bad. We don't have much time. And we're out of resources. Will you help us or not?"

Constantine smirks and finishes his cigarette.

"First I'm gonna have to see her."

*******

When they walk into the infirmary, Rachel is awake, surrounded by Gar, Rose and Conner, who came back this morning. The group is laughing at something they're watching on Rose's phone. Rachel is propped on a pillow comfortably, leaning her head on Gar's shoulder. 

Dick clears his throat, catching their attention.

"Hey guys, could you give us a moment, please?"

The group looks around at each other, then at Rachel, who gives them a weak smile in return.

"I'll be fine."

Once they're gone, Dick approaches the bed slowly and leans down, dropping a kiss on Rachel's hair. She smiles in return, squeezing his hand.

"Having fun?" he asks with a smile.

"Yeah, Rose was telling us about her week with her mom." her eyes dart to the man behind him and her expression becomes serious. "What's going on?"

He gestures John to come closer.

"Rachel, this is John Constantine." Dick introduces him. John sends her a smile, tipping his head. "He's a skilled warlock and he had agreed to try and help you."

Rachel eyes the man a bit suspiciously at first, but after noticing Dick's sympathetic smile she relaxes and nods. 

"Hi."

"Hello, love." John says in a surprisingly soft tone. His eyes study her for a moment, lingering on the black veins covering visible parts of her body. Rachel fiercely holds his gaze, unafraid. "I see you have a lot of going on here."

The girl sighs tiredly.

"Unfortunately. Do you know what this means?"

"Not yet, but let's try to find out." 

John turns briefly to Dick, patting his shoulder.

"Sorry, mate, but you might want to sit this one out. What I'm about to do is safe, but I'd rather not risk bystanders."

He wants to argue but then his eyes flicker to Rachel who smiles softly and squeezes his hand.

"I'll be alright." she assures him. "Just don't leave the room, okay?"

He holds her gaze for a moment. She's weak and tired but she's trying to push through it for him. And he needs to let John try if it's supposed to work.

"Okay." he nods at last, stepping back under the opposite wall. 

Meanwhile John focuses his entire attention on Rachel.

"Alright, love. Your friends have told me a bit about your powers, so I assume you are familiar with crossing into someone's mind."

The girl nods slowly, furrowing her eyebrows.

"A little bit, yeah. I can feel what other people feel by touching them. Sometimes communicate with them through dreams. It might go beyond that, but I'm still learning."

John hums, carefully rounding the bed, his fingers slowly scratching the stubble on his chin.

"And that crystal on your forehead, that's a gift from your father, right?"

Rachel unconsciously lifts her hand, brushing her fingers over the gem.

"I wouldn't call that a gift, but… yeah, Trigon gave me that."

John stops suddenly, smirking at her.

"Let me guess, he'd crushed your heart."

Rachel's eyes go round in surprise.

"How did you know?"

"Because all demons are bastards and they all do that to their kids, he's not special." John snorts and when Rachel's face lights up, Dick chuckles. He was starting to get nervous, but now he sees what John is doing - he's trying to release the tension, get Rachel to trust him before he can do anything. It's quite surprising, actually - he had no idea John Constantine is so good with kids.

Guess the man is not as bad as they claim him to be.

"So, this is what we're gonna do." The warlock says, clapping his hands. "I will use a spell to enter your mind, get access to your powers. It will put you to sleep, lock you in a dream. You won't feel anything."

Her eyes move from John to him for a moment and Dick nods, giving her the encouragement she needs.

"Okay."

"Close your eyes, love." John instructs her. "And relax."

She does as she's told and lays down on her pillow. John shuts his eyes as well, frowning in concentration and after a moment his hands start glowing. Muttering something under his breath he walks up to the bed and puts both his palms on the sides of her head, pressing his thumbs to the gemstone. Rachel sucks in a breath and arches her back as if something was holding her up.

For a moment nothing else happens, but then Dick starts to notice a struggle. John's whispers become more urgent, he's grabbing Rachel's head more firmly than he should. Her body starts to tremble suddenly, a clear sign of a seizure and the heart rate monitor is going crazy. Kory and Donna burst through the door, alarmed by the sound as Dick moves towards the bed.

Then a blast of energy blows through the room, sending everyone back against the walls. Rachel falls back on the bed like a ragdoll, unconscious, but her heartbeat has gone back to normal. Dick immediately jumps to his feet and runs to the bed, but she appears to be fine. Her breathing is normal. She's just asleep.

He helps John get back on his feet next.

"What the hell just happened?" he demands frantically. "You said it was safe."

Dick just now can notice how pale John has become. The man is breathing heavily, his wide eyes fixed on Rachel's sleeping form. He grips Dick's shoulder tightly, painfully digging his fingers into his skin.

"Oh, it's not good." he whispers gravely, stumbling on his feet. Dick's face drains of all the color.

"What do you mean?"

"When she faced Trigon - when was it?" John asks suddenly, catching Dick off guard.

"Uh, around a year ago. Why?"

"And how old is she now?"

"She turned fifteen last month." he answers, growing even more confused. "I don't understand, what does that have to do-"

"Maybe nothing." John breaths out, looking him in the eye. "Maybe everything."

"Cut the riddles, Constantine." Donna demands fiercely. "And spit it out."

John points a trembling finger at Rachel. Either from fear or exhaustion, Dick can't tell. 

"What I saw in there… I might be wrong, it's just a theory. But I can't say until I'm sure." he looks back at Dick. "Give me twenty-four hours. I need go back to Hell, gather information."

Dick furrows his eyebrows.

"About what?"

"Her." he says, pointing his finger at Rachel again. "The prophecy. And if I'm right… We might have much less time than we thought."

*******

Darkness surrounds her again. This time, the icy water reaches her knees, but when she tries to take a step, she has the impression of being stuck in tar.

A gust of wind hits her face and she involuntarily turns in this direction, following the sounds it carries. She hears them again - flapping of wings and impetuous croaking.

Then she sees them.

Two giant, majestic birds, locked in a life or death battle. One, glowing with pure white light, with eyes black as coal. And the other, build entirely from smoke, its pupils glowing red in the dark.

They attack each other with everything they have, immersing their beaks and claws. She feels each blow on her skin, it's ripping her apart. She tries to scream but her lungs fill with water. 

All she can do is watch them helplessly as they rip each other apart, letting her own blood color the water around her in crimson.

*******

John leaves in a hurry, creating a portal in the middle of the room. Dick doesn't waste time, immediately jumping back to Rachel, who slowly started waking up.

Seeing her eyes flutter open pushes a relieved puff of air out of his mouth. He lifts his hand, brushing her cheek softly.

"Are you okay?"

She nods slowly, giving him a tired smile.

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

She shakes her head.

"I had a weird dream… two birds, fighting. And-"

She stops, falling into a coughing fit, a drop of red appearing in the corner of her lips. Her face twists in pain as she does so and she falls flat on her pillow, eyes squinting in pain. His heart jumps to his throat when he sees dark veins starting to grow and spreading fast over her collarbone and neck.

"Rachel…"

"My chest hurts…" she wheezes out, breathing with difficulty. Kory instantly connects her back to an IV and a moment later Rachel is out like a light.

The three adults in the room look at each other in fear, all thinking the same thing.

_ Did we just make it worse? _

*******

It's been almost twelve hours and there was still no word from John. Rachel woke up few times but each time only for several minutes. She was too exhausted to even keep her eyes open, let alone talk. Dick could only sit with her, holding her hand and watching the time tick down. 

Dark veins now cover most of her body, crossing over on her cheeks, tangling up on her wrists, growing into her hair at the back of her neck. Even in sleep her eyes twitch as she squirms in pain. The doctors came and went, trying and failing to make the situation better. They can't give her a bigger dose, not anymore. It already should be too much.

Dick mouths a curse under his breath. Constantine promised it was safe. And all his spell did was make it worse.

He pushes himself up from his chair and makes his way to the kitchen. Kory is in the infirmary as well, so it's okay for him to leave for a few minutes. 

He's preparing himself a cup of coffee when Gar walks in. The boy looks just like Dick is feeling - beyond exhausted. He drops tiredly on one of the stools and grabs an apple from a bowl on the table.

"Still no news?" he asks, taking a bite.

"No."

"How is she?"

He takes a sip, letting the hot liquid wake him up a little.

"Asleep." he answers shortly. "Kory is with her now."

The boy nods, then bows his head, taking a deep, shaky breath. When Dick glances at him, he can see his eyes shining with tears and his heart instantly breaks.

"Gar-"

"She's not going to make it, is she?" he asks suddenly with a broken voice. "We're just counting down time now."

Dick exhales deeply and walks up to the boy, laying a hand on his right shoulder.

"You can't think like that." he tells him. "I'm sure John will find something."

"But his spell only made it worse!"

"I know." Dick nods, feeling his throat closing. "That wasn't supposed to happen and we didn't know it would. But Rachel is a fighter. You know her. She won't give up."

Gar's bottom lip trembles when he asks the next question.

"What if this is bigger than her this time?"

Dick doesn't have an answer to that. It is bigger than anything they've ever faced. It's scary and unknown. 

"I don't wanna lose her." The boy whispers, letting his tears fall on his cheeks. Dick immediately reaches out and pulls him to his chest, wrapping his arms around him. He holds the boy tight as he weeps, broken sobs shaking through his whole body.

"I know, Gar." Dick murmurs into his hair, feeling his own eyes welling up. "Me neither."

But what they want and what can happen are two very different things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, to clarify, my John Constantine is based on the only version of him that I know, which is the one from DC's Legends of Tomorrow, played by Matt Ryan. I hope I got him right.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When John's news only confirm what they've been suspecting, the team is faced with an unimaginable, most difficult task.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to chapter 8!  
> Some things will be revealed here. As for the rest of it...  
> I'm sorry. For all the emotions this will cause you. For all the tears. I suspect there will be tears, because I was writing it at 1am and I was sobbing like crazy. But I promise - after this, all the suffering will be over (yeah, in the last chapter, I see the irony).  
> So, enjoy and see you on Friday with the final chapter!

"John, please tell me you have something."

Dick had gathered everyone in the living room the moment Constantine showed up. He stumbled through the portal in the middle of the room barely ten minutes ago and hasn't stopped pacing back and forth since.

"John." he urges again, getting the man's attention. The warlock stops in his tracks and turns their way as the whole team glares at him expectantly.

Finally he lets out a heavy sigh and licks his lips before speaking.

"There's no easy way to say this, so I'm not going to even try." he starts. "There's no cure for this."

No one moves. No one even breathes as the words leave the warlock's mouth. There's no reaction, really.

Because deep down they've all expected this.

Rachel had only gotten worse in the last few hours. Her breathing became rapid and difficult, her temperature has risen. She's asleep right now only thanks to heavy medication.

Pushing through the pain in his chest Dick steps closer to the man, trying to make his voice sound calm and collected.

"And you're hundred percent sure?"

"Yes."

"Then explain."

John exhales deeply, gathering his thoughts.

"The prophecy says that she's supposed to either bring the end of the world or stop it, right? But you've never gotten the specifics."

Dick raises an eyebrow at him.

"We thought this was done with when she had banished Trigon. She stopped him from destroying the world. Prophecy fulfilled."

John shakes his head. 

"Not exactly. See, what you got was just a part of it. It didn't specify when or how that is supposed to happen."

"So the prophecy is still happening?" Kory asks. "How? And what that has to do with her condition? How is she supposed to make it happen if she's dying?"

"It was never about what she's gonna do. It's about what she could've become." John explains, looking at Dick. "I've asked you how old she is. I've heard this theory that at certain age halfbreeds go through some sort of transformation, to determine which part of their soul - human or demon - is stronger. Well, as it turns out - it isn't just a theory. See, normally that wouldn't happen way until adulthood by human standards, but the gemstone on her forehead somehow sped up the process. When I went into her head, I saw both parts of her soul already in battle."

"She said something." Dick remembers suddenly. "She had a dream about two birds fighting…"

"Ravens." Kory realizes, her eyes growing wide. "They were Ravens, right?"

John nods in confirmation.

"One white, symbolizing her human soul, and one black-"

"The demon." Kory finishes for him.

They fall silent for a moment, letting that information sink in. Dick has to sit down, it's too hard to process. And he doesn't want to think what does that mean for Rachel.

"As we speak, the two halves of her soul are fighting for domination." John continues. "Unfortunately for Rachel, her body became their battleground. If she was stronger, older and more experienced with her gift, she'd be able to survive it, but this way… It's too much physically. It's destroying her. Her body won't handle it."

The man's face softens when he walks up to Dick, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do. We can't stop this. She is going to die, Dick. I'd suggest you start saying your goodbyes, while you still can."

His heart sinks deep in his chest. He can't believe it, he _doesn't want to_ believe it. Blinking back tears, he looks up at the man.

"How much time does she have? Are we talking about days, weeks-"

"Hours." John tells him, twisting a phantom knife in his gut. "She'll be gone before the sunrise."

*******

They move her to her room, figuring she'd be more comfortable in her own bed. They take the IV out and once the drugs aren't flowing through her system anymore, she starts waking up. She looks around, switching between everyone's faces in confusion but when her eyes land on Dick's devastated expression, something in her eyes changes.

She knows.

And she's okay with it.

Rose, Jericho and Conner spend with her several minutes. They laugh, share jokes, have fun like nothing is happening.

Rose grips her hand tightly as her eyes cloud with tears.

"Thanks for being my friend." she whispers. "And for kicking my ass that first time."

"You kinda had it coming." Rachel chuckles softly, squeezing her hand. "Bad Dads Club forever, right?"

Rose smiles through her tears.

"Forever." she says, signing it with Jericho.

Dick stands in the door when the three original Titans gather around the bed, Donna kneeling on one side while Hank and Dawn sit down on the other.

"I have a lot of respect for you, kid." Hank mutters, laying a hand on her head. "I've never met anyone tougher than you."

Rachel smiles at him brightly.

"I could say the same, Hank. You're a badass."

His eyes shine with tears when he chuckles.

"Not like you."

"I knew you were special." Dawn whispers tearfully, grasping her hand. "The moment you and Dick showed up at our doorstep in D.C. I knew you were going to change our lives."

"I wasn't planning to." Rachel tells her. "Thanks for letting me binge Game of Thrones, Khaleesi."

Dawn smiles and reaches out, brushing her cheek.

"My pleasure."

"Thank you, again, for bringing me back to life." Donna says next, gripping Rachel's other hand. "I know I wasn't of much help to you back then, I was being difficult and you had every right to hate me. I'm sorry for that. You didn't have to do what you did. It means a lot."

Rachel slowly turns her head her way, her expression growing serious.

"I would do that again." she says. "Can you do something for me?"

"Of course."

Rachel's eyes flicker to Dick for a moment before she speaks again, leaning her head close to Donna.

"Don't ever leave him again." she begs and Donna, upon realizing what she means, holds back a sob. "He's gonna need you, all of you. Now more than ever. Promise me."

The three adults look at each other and something in their eyes hardens. They've made their decision.

"We promise." Donna nods, squeezing her hand.

When they leave, she brushes his shoulder slightly. 

"We'll be in the living room."

He can only nod.

Then the door close and there's just four of them left in the room. Four people that accidentally stumbled upon each other a year ago, in the darkest moments of their lives. Now, a family, about to lose one of their own.

Gar drags a swiveling chair next to the bed and slumps into it, taking her hand. Kory sits down where Dawn was a minute ago and leans over Rachel, brushing the hair out of her face in a gesture so motherly Dick's heart aches. As he lays down on the other side, gathering the girl in his arms, it comes to him that in this time that now feels incredibly short him and Kory really became parents to these kids. They've protected them, provided for them. Gave them a loving home and a space to grow and be themselves. There's nothing more rewarding than knowing they had such an impact on their lives.

"Are you comfortable, darling?" Kory asks quietly, fixing the pillow under Rachel's head. She nods in response, then turns her head his way, smiling.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but it's gonna be okay."

Holding back tears becomes more difficult with each second. Dick takes a shuddering breath and closes his eyes, pressing his forehead against hers.

"You fought like hell." he whispers. "I'm proud of you."

"I've learned from the best."

"No, Rach. You are the best." Gar says, leaning in closer. His face is wet from tears. "You're the best of us all."

"I don't know how am I supposed to thank you." she says slowly. She's growing tired, speaking becomes harder to her with each word. "You've all changed my life, all in your own special way."

She looks at Gar and grabs his hand fiercely.

"Gar, you are my first ever best friend. You showed me it's okay to be myself. I'm so happy I've run into you in those woods."

Gar laughs through his tears.

"That was quite an adventure, right?"

"Kory." Rachel turns her head to the woman, causing her to lean in. Her lips trembles, she can barely keep it together. Rachel's words almost break her.

"Thank you for always sticking with me. For showing me I can choose my own destiny. I really needed that lesson."

"Thank you for helping me heal, bringing my memories back." Kory says in return and kisses her hand, letting her tears fall on her fingers. "You are a true miracle and I'm so glad I got to meet you."

He wants to run when he realizes it's his turn. He's not ready, he could never be ready. But her head turns his way and she's looking at him with those big blue eyes and his heart can't take it any longer.

It shatters when she whispers his name.

"Oh, baby…" He sobs, burying his face in her hair. She curls into him, pressing herself to his chest. She wants to be as close to him as possible in these final moments so he gives her exactly that and pulls her to him, cradling her in his arms. Her hand finds his and they lace their fingers together, holding tightly.

"We were supposed save each other." She whispers and he squeezes his eyes shut, letting his tears fall down. "And we did. Thank you, for everything you've done for me. For believing in me. For taking me under your wing. You made my life so much better."

"You made my life better, too." he chokes out, looking her in the eyes. "You led me right back to it, gave it a meaning, a purpose. I finally got someone to live for."

"And you still do, remember that."

He leans in, pressing a long, loving kiss to her forehead.

"You're my everything, Rachel." he mumbles against her skin, his voice breaking with each word. "I don't wanna say goodbye."

"I'll always be with you." she says, but then her body tenses slightly, her face twisting in pain. She grips his hand tighter, but relaxes a second later. "I love you guys so much. Thank you for being my family."

Kory lays down next to her and wraps her arm around the girl's stomach, hugging her tightly.

"We love you, too, honey."

"So much." Dick adds, kissing her hair.

She turns again, curling into him.

"Dad…"

He grips her tighter as his face twists in pain, tears falling down his cheeks in cascades.

"I'm here, baby. Right here."

"I love you…" her voice is barely a whisper when she breathes the words out. But she smiles. And it's the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.

"I love you, too." he whispers back, brushing their noses together.

Her breathing evens out and her eyes close slowly. She buries her face under his chin, inhaling deeply and her shoulders relax, releasing all the tension. A long, warm breath escapes her slightly parted lips.

And then her hand goes limp in his.

"Rachel?" he asks, lifting his head. "Rachel?"

His heart knows he's not gonna get an answer. But he tries anyway. He grips her shoulders, shakes her slightly, but her head only rolls to the other side.

"No… no, no, please no…"

His face crumbles. A heartbreaking broken wail rips out from his mouth, slowly raising in volume. His heart screams in agony when he pulls her back against his chest, rocking her back and forth. He's shaking all over, pain destroying every cell in his body.

He cups her face, brushing his thumbs across her round cheeks. Kisses her hair, forehead, eyelids, nose. He's begging, pleading for her to wake up, to open those beautiful eyes and look at him one more time but she _can't_. She won't. He sobs violently into her chest and it feels as if a bolt of electricity shoots through his body when he realizes he can't feel her heartbeat anymore.

She's gone.

Kory screams. She throws herself at Rachel, howling like a wolf, trying to grasp at anything she can - her arms, shoulders, chest - scratching, digging her nails desperately in her body. She's trembling all over, lamenting in a language of her people, words he cannot understand, even when their meaning is clear.

Gar breaks down too, but quietly as he curls himself next to Kory, shaking like a leaf and clutching Rachel's hand in his own.

Dick doesn't really register any of it. All he can do is hold her. Images start flashing through his mind. All the beautiful memories they've created together. Plans they had. Dreams they shared.

It hurts too much. He wants to lock himself in these thoughts and never leave. Live in that bubble of security without facing the brutal reality. It would be so much easier than this.

Her body starts growing cold and he can't do this anymore. Feeling like he's about to throw up, he stumbles from the bed and runs out of the room, letting Gar take his place.

 _You're gonna leave me too, aren't you?_ She asked him once, on the day they met. He swore to her he would never do that.

But he had never considered she would leave him first. 

*******

His feet carry him to the living room. He's in a haze, the outline of his sight is blurry. He has to blink several times to get rid of that sensation.

They all stand up when he walks in, but no one says anything. They're waiting for him to say it, he figures, but he can't. Merely thinking the words makes him sick.

But Donna knows. She gives him one look and she just knows. She approaches him slowly, like one would do with a wounded animal, her eyes clouding with tears.

"Dick?" she asks carefully, reaching out to him.

He had never been good at keeping his emotions from her. Now is not any different.

So when she touches his shoulder, he breaks.

"She's gone, Donna." he chokes out and every word hurts so much he can barely handle it. "My baby is _gone_."

He takes a step but his knees buckle under him as the weight of these words falls on his shoulders. Donna catches him just in time, gripping him tight and together they slowly sink to the floor, crying together. He leans his body against her, going completely limp. He's exhausted. He just wants this to end. He wants to fall apart, dissolve into nothing.

But all he can do is mumble these words into Donna's shoulder, over and over again.

 _My baby is gone_.

Dead. Turned into a memory.

It doesn't seem real.

He's not sure how long they sit like that, but the sun has already begun to rise outside the windows. He can hear others in the distance, but it's like their voices are coming from underwater. He can just breathe and stare aimlessly into space. His tears has long dried out.

Now he's just numb.

"Was she in pain?" Donna asks quietly, rubbing a hand across his back. He leans away to look at her and shakes his head.

"No. She just… fell asleep."

Donna gives him a sad smile, then takes his hand.

"Did you get to say what you wanted to say?"

"Yeah, we all did."

She helps him get up to his feet, keeping her arms on his shoulders to steady him.

"Come on." she takes his hand, pulling him towards the couch. "I know it's probably too soon, but there's some work to do now. We need to plan a funeral. I know you don't want to think about this, but it would be good for you to distract yourself right now."

She's right. He doesn't want to think about this.

God, he's gonna have to bury her.

"I need to sit down." he mutters and she leads him to a nearby chair. Hank puts a glass in his hand and he gulps it down in one go without even looking at it, then cringes at the burning sensation in his mouth. Whiskey.

Suddenly alcohol doesn't seem like a bad idea.

Donna takes the glass away, pointing a glare at Hank.

"No, this is the last thing he should be doing right now."

Dawn takes his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Dick." she whispers. "I know how much you loved her. I knew it from the moment I saw you two together for the first time."

Dick chuckles sadly at the memory.

"You've figured me out right away and I stupidly denied everything."

She smiles through her tears.

"You just weren't ready to admit it yet. But your heart was already committed, I could see that clearly. You were ready to put your life on the line for this girl, despite knowing her for only twenty-four hours."

He looks her in the eyes and nods, smiling softly. He wasn't sure he'll be able to do that, but his expression is genuine.

"You were right, you know?" he tells her. "Taking her in _was_ healing. And complicated."

"You managed just fine."

He shakes his head.

"I fucked up so many times."

Dawn grabs his other hand and clasps them together between her own.

"I guess that's a part of being a parent."

She's about to say something else, but a sound of hurried footsteps in the hallway interrupts them. Suddenly Gar storms into the room, panting heavily, his eyes wide open.

"Dick, come quickly. You need to see this."

Everyone's on their feet immediately, alerted.

"What's going on?"

"It's- it's Rachel." he stutters. "Something's happening. She's glowing."

*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how are you guys feeling? (I know, stupid question)  
> Please, don't kill me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The worst night of their lives takes an unexpected turn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELCOME TO CHAPTER 9! The Grant Finale. I am so happy to finally post this chapter, but also sad because it means that the story is over 😢 But no worries, I'm already working on some new oneshots. I am not slowing down.  
> Honestly this story is my most treasured baby and I am so proud of it. Thank you to everyone who tuned in, even if only for one chapter. I promise, the suffering is over - you finally get to understand the full picture and heal your broken hearts with big bowl full of fluff.  
> For the last time - ENJOY!

She's floating, surrounded by eternal, everlasting abyss of darkness. She's weightless, a mere gust of wind in the air.

She's nothing and everything at once.

She can't feel a thing, yet every nerve in her body is screaming.

She doesn't have a body, yet she can feel every single cell.

Her mind is nonexistent, yet she has the will to open her eyes.

Only to stare right into a pair of different eyes, two black crystals burning in the blinding white light.

She sees the wings, each feather build from thousands strings of light. She sees the giant chest, a thunder of heartbeat inside resonating in her ears. She feels the warmth radiating from its soft expression.

 _It is done._ The Raven speaks in a harmonic, almost angelic voice, that sounds like her own, yet different at the same time. _Purification is complete._

She doesn't understand. 

_What does it mean_ , she asks.

 _In order to embrace the light and defeat the darkness, the Raven must be reborn_ , the Creature's voice surrounds her. _Purity of your heart healed the poison of your blood. Demon is no more. Only Raven remains._

She smiles. Happiness fills her entire being, it's overwhelming, beautiful. 

She feels more alive than ever before.

But is she alive? She can't say for sure so she asks.

_Do you wish to be?_

_Yes_ , her heart screams in reply. _Please. I don't want to die._

 _Then it's time to wake up_ , the Raven says and when she nods, it dives at her, beak first, right into her chest.

And all she sees is light.

*******

"Rachel?"

She slowly opens her eyes at the sound of her name, eyelids fluttering slowly. She takes a breath and realizes her chest doesn't hurt anymore. The ache had vanished from her bones as well.

She looks around, seeing faces of her loved ones leaning over her. Their eyes are wide open in shock, cheeks wet from tears they had shed, but they're smiling so brightly it's almost blinding.

Someone brushes her right cheek and she moves her head, looking right into those deep brown eyes she loves so much.

"Dick…" she whispers. Her voice sounds strong.

"Oh my God, Rachel!" he sobs, crushing her in a strong embrace. She can feel him shaking when she curls into him, cuddling herself to his chest.

"I'm okay."

"Baby…" he mumbles weakly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. His tears fall on her skin. "My baby girl…"

"I'm here."

He helps her sit up in the bed, though she's strong enough to do it by herself. Instantly she's enveloped in another pair of arms, this time belonging to Kory. The woman weeps into her shoulder, kissing her cheek.

"This is a miracle." she chokes out, cupping her face. "Thank the Gods."

Gar climbs on the bed and throws himself at her next, almost toppling her over.

"How is this possible?" he gasps, holding her tight. Rachel smiles against his shoulder.

"Guess I'm stronger than I thought."

Dick scoots closer to her, keeping an arm around her waist so she could sit straight. She instantly leans into his touch when he brushes her hair out of her face.

"What's the last thing you remember?" He asks slowly.

Rachel furrows her eyebrows.

"I was with you guys." she says. "I closed my eyes and for a moment there was nothing, but then-" her face scrunches in confusion. "Wait, what happened here?"

The three of them glance at each other before Gar starts speaking.

"You were dead for over an hour, Rachel." he says gravely. "Like - really dead. You've grown cold. There was no heartbeat. We thought this was it."

The pain in his eyes and voice breaks her heart and she wants to hug him again.

"But then, after a while, your body started glowing from within." Kory explains, running her fingers through her hair. "Only a little at first, but it quickly turned so bright it was blinding to look at."

"I was in the living room when Gar called me." Dick adds and she turns to him. "When I walked in, your body was floating in the air. A blow of light went through the room, causing a momentary blackout in the entire building and then you just dropped back on the bed, like someone cut the strings out." he inhales deeply and takes her hand. "And you were fully healed."

She looks down at herself and indeed, there's no black veins covering her body. She can take a full deep breath and her chest doesn't hurt. The pounding in her head is gone.

"Purification is complete…" she gasps, remembering words of the Raven. Upon seeing her family's perplexed expressions, she hurries to explain.

"I had a dream before of two birds fighting. I think I died when one of them won. It was a giant white Raven, made of light."

"Your human soul." Dick figures, smiling. "John had found out that your condition was caused by the two parts of your soul, human one and demon one, fighting for control. Said it could've been a part of the prophecy, the outcome of it depending on which one of them wins."

Rachel smiles at him brightly.

"The human part won. I woke up surrounded by light and it was in front of me. If I understand what it said correctly, by choosing to be good I purified my blood. The Raven said that to embrace the light I had to be reborn, and that my demon side is gone."

Their faces light up in such happiness her heart almost bursts out of her chest.

"But how did you survive?" Donna's voice comes from the door and Rachel just now notices that the rest of the team is here too, smiling at her through tears in their eyes. In first instinct she wants to jump out of bed and hug them all, but Dick and Kory are holding her in almost iron grip, refusing to let her go. Guess she's gonna have to bare with them for a while now. "Constantine said that all of this happened too early because of that thing on your forehead and there was no way for your body to handle it."

Rachel thinks for a moment, then shrugs.

"I don't know exactly. The creature asked me if I wanted to come back so I did. My body was weak but my will to live was stronger."

"And thank God for that." Dick sighs as he pulls her closer and plants a kiss to her temple. "We really thought we lost you."

"How are you feeling?" Dawn asks softly, stepping further into the room.

"Okay. Really good actually." she glances at Dick briefly. "Can I stand?"

He smiles and moves, making her a room. She slides down from the bed, slowly putting her feet on the carpet. Wiggles her toes, then stands up carefully and she has to resist a chuckle when Dick's hands immediately shoot up to support her back. But her balance is right, she's not gonna fall.

She takes few steps around the room, aware of every pair of eyes laid on her. She walks up to the window and opens the curtains. The sun shines bright over the city. It's a beautiful day in San Francisco.

She turns back to the team.

"I feel good as new."

The collective breath of relief that carries through the room sounds like an eruption. 

"That's great." Dick says, standing up. "But just in case I will have both John and dr. Lynn check you over."

This time she can't resist rolling her eyes. If he was overprotective before, now he's gonna be truly unbearable.

And she loves him for it.

She walks up to him, sliding her arms around his waist and gives him her most adorable, biggest grin.

"Fine, but can it wait till later? I'm starving, dad."

The smile, but more importantly _the word_ has the planned effect. As excited gasps and chuckles erupt around the room, Dick's eyes go round, gleaming with tears. He forgets to breathe for a second, but he clears his throat and smiles back at her so wide his cheeks must hurt.

"Uh, sure, we can figure something out. What do you want?"

"Do we have any pizza?"

His laugh is the most beautiful sound she ever heard. She's never gonna get tired of it.

"You know, technically it's breakfast, but you just came back to life, I think you deserve a freaking feast."

"We should get a cake." Rose suggests, getting everyone's attention. "She said she was reborn. It's like birthday, right? She needs a cake."

"And candles!" Conner adds cheerfully, Krypto barking excitedly from behind his legs.

Everyone in the room laugh.

"Yeah, what the hell!" Dick shrugs. "We're getting a cake!"

Kory wraps Rachel in a dark blue, fluffy plush robe, another one of her birthday gifts.

"C'mon, sweetie. Let's get you something to eat."

"Wait a second!" Gar stops them suddenly, rising his hand. "What about your powers? If the demon is gone, are they gone too?"

Rachel stops in her tracks. She didn't think about that until now. She walks out of Dick's hold and closes her eyes, concentrating. For a moment nothing happens, but then she starts feeling a weird tingling underneath the tips of her fingers.

The room fills with gasps again.

She opens her eyes. Her hands are burning with a pitch black flame, only bright around the edges. It's warm, but it doesn't hurt her. She glances at herself in the mirror. Her eyes burn the same way, deep and pitch black.

Just like the Raven's eyes.

Rachel smiles widely as she puts the fire down.

"I guess you could say I… evolved."

*******

"You do know you don't have to keep watch over me anymore, right?" Rachel mumbles, burying her face deeper into his chest. "It's not like I'm gonna disappear into thin air or something."

Dick only squeezes her tighter in his arms, sinking deeper into his pillow.

"Are you kicking me out? Thought you wanted to cuddle."

"I _do_ want to cuddle." comes her reply, muffled by the covers. She shifts a little, resting her head on his shoulder, while her hand falls flat on the fabric of his grey tank top, right above his heart. "I just can feel how worried you still are. And I don't want you to be. I'm okay. And I'm not going anywhere."

He grabs her hand and lifts it a little, giving her knuckles feather-like kisses, then looks her in the eyes.

"I know, Rach." he smiles, but it quickly falters at the memory of the last twenty-four hours. "But you died in my arms. It's gonna take a while for me to get over it."

The truth is he might have nightmares about this night for the rest of his life.

Shaking himself out of the dread creeping back into his heart he pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

"I don't ever want to lose you again." he mutters into her hair. "If I have to chain myself to you to make sure of that, so be it."

Rachel's laugh vibrates on his skin when she hides her face in his neck.

"You're impossible, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that a lot."

Silence falls between them, the only sound left in the room is their synchronized breathing.

"I don't want to lose you either." she whispers after a while. "It would destroy me."

He lifts his hand to cup her face, brushing her cheek with his thumb.

"Well, good thing I'm not going anywhere." he tells her. "Not now, not ever."

He wouldn't have anywhere to go if he lost what he has now. A city to protect. A team that depends on him. A family he needs to take care of.

A daughter who is his entire world.

"Sleep, baby girl." he murmurs and Rachel smiles, pressing her cheek to his palm. He kisses her forehead softly. "It's been a long day."

She nods as her eyes close, then snuggles herself back to his chest.

"Love you, dad."

Dick squeezes her tighter, feeling his eyes welling up again. Will there ever be a day when this word coming from her won't make him want to cry?

Probably not.

"I love you, too, baby. More than anything."

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is it folks! How did you like it? Please, let me know, I am dying to know your opinions.  
> Big thank you to everyone who entered, read, left kudos and comments, subscripted or bookmarked. Every single thing means the world to me.  
> Shout out to @reddish_umbrella for commenting on every single chapter and being constantly supportive. It means the world to me. This story started a beautiful friendship and I am so glad it happened.  
> But the biggest thank you and the tightest hug and a bouquet of flowers 💐 goes to my dearest friend @SiryyGray. I promised you an Oscar speech so hear it is. This story wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you. You hype me up so much (and I happily return the favour), your encouragement and advice did wonders to both my writing skills and my self confidence. Your writing inspires me to push and challenge myself, to work harder, learn more and become a better writer. From the bottom of my heart thank you and believe me if I could, I would catch the next flight and fly to you across the world just to give you a massive hug. ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤  
> Okay, so, that's it, people. See you next time. If you liked this fic, make sure to check out my other works. I can promise you that this list will only grow.

**Author's Note:**

> So... How did you like it? Let me know! Kudos and comments as always appreciated. See you soon on the next chapter and don't be afraid to say hi to me on my on my Tumblr - [@not-so-mundane-after-all-97](https://not-so-mundane-after-all-97.tumblr.com/) . SEE YA THERE!


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